Irresistible
by Dyzog
Summary: When Haruhi inadvertently makes a specific part of Kyon's anatomy irresistible to women, he struggles with his newfound power. [COMPLETE]
1. Taking Care of Business

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**Irresistible**

by Dizog

**Chapter One: Taking Care of Business**

The SOS Brigade club room space heater died on one of the rainiest, coldest, ugliest days of the year. Haruhi did her best to revive it. Kneeling in front of the metal contraption, she messed with the knobs, fiddled with the power cord, and knocked the thing on the side a few times to wake it up, but nothing helped.

"This won't do." She rose to her feet. "The SOS Brigade will not conduct its business in a clubroom that's a fridge. We need heat."

"We may be able to get that thing fixed," I said. "I bet it's still under warranty. Most appliances are covered for a year at least, aren't they?" I said this hopefully, since we got the thing for free in the first place, and I doubted it came with much customer support.

"There's only one way to find out." She unplugged the heater and set it on the table in front of me.

"What do you want me to do with it?" I asked.

"Bring it back to where you got it."

I beheld a bank of windows getting pelted with rain. "You can't be serious."

"You'll be fine."

I groaned, buttoned up my coat, grabbed the heater by its handle, and walked toward the door.

"Wait, Kyon." Mikuru stopped me. "This will keep you warm on the outside." She wrapped a scarf around my neck. Then she handed me a thermos filled with 24 ounces of her wonderful steaming tea. "And this will keep you warm on the inside."

_How incredibly considerate. _"Thank you, Miss Asahina."

"Get your ass moving," Haruhi shouted. "You don't have all day."

It took me forty-five minutes, two train rides, and a walk through the rain to get to the city's shopping district. Miss Asahina's scarf and tea made the trip bearable.

When I entered the hardware store, the owner greeted me with a smile. "How is your excitable leader doing?"

"Miss Suzumiya is as energetic as ever." I set the space heater on his counter.

He examined it. "You blew a fuse. It happens all the time." He replaced the fuse free of charge. "Please send my regards to your leader." He offered me a farewell bow.

"Thank you very much." I bowed in return. "Yes, I will."

Wearing drenched clothes, I made the uncomfortable trip home with my bursting tea-filled bladder threatening to make a mess. Forty-five minutes later, I deposited the heater in an empty club room and dashed to the bathroom to relieve myself.

Feeling much better, I strolled back to the clubroom and ditched my wet scarf, coat, socks, and shoes. I plugged in the heater, turned it to 'high,' and slid it under the table. The hot air rising past my body felt awesome, but the clubroom felt empty. Judging from the clothes rack, Haruhi and the gang were out taking pictures for the web site again. Both Mikuru's school uniform and maid outfit hung from hangers, but her nurse and maid outfits were missing, plus — _Damn — _her one-piece blue Speedo swimsuit was missing too. Mikuru looked amazing in that thing.

Got to hand it to Haruhi. Always making the best of a situation.

I rested my head in the pillow of my arms. As the space heater dried me, I became more conscious of my hard wooden chair. The brand new armchair complementing the commander's desk looked inviting. Haruhi's new throne sported leather upholstery, firm comfy seat pads, and cushioned armrests. Unlike my stiff little seat, hers reclined forty-five degrees if you pulled the right lever.

The chair called out to me. I unplugged the heater, faced it toward the commander's chair, and lowered the seat to its bottom setting. Then I spread my legs around the heat source and reclined back in luxury. Soothing warm air blew up past my pants legs, skimmed my chest, and tickled my face. I dropped my arms on the armrests and closed my eyes.

Despite my state of exhaustion, I vowed not to fall asleep this time. Last time I did that, Mikuru took advantage of me by changing from her cosplay outfit into her school uniform while I snoozed nearby. That would not happen again, especially now that she'd been wearing a swimsuit. She'd have to strip fully naked to get into her school uniform and I wasn't going to miss it.

As I meditated on this scenario, the most bizarre and wonderful images appeared on the movie screen of my mind. I imagined a bank of fog filling the clubroom. The fog dissipated when Mikuru Asahina entered, wearing an ugly overcoat. Stripping off this coat revealed her skin-tight blue Speedo. She whispered, "Hey, Kyon," and waved her arms at me. Confident that I was deep asleep, she stripped off the swimsuit revealing the most beautiful female body I'd ever seen.

In my fantasy, Mikuru tip-toed over to me, ran her fingers through my hair, and kissed me on the cheek.

"You're such a tease," I imagined Haruhi whispering from her perch on my chair. "If you don't hurry up, I'm going to scream and wake him."

With joyful bouncing breasts, Mikuru skipped back to the wardrobe, pulled on her school uniform, and dashed out the door.

Haruhi rose from my seat and strolled toward the window. "Lazy bum." When she came around her desk, her eyes bulged in shock.

Mikuru's naked kiss had elicited a healthy male response — which may or may not have been a problem. I could have managed a tent forming in my slacks. Unfortunately, in my rush to relieve my bladder and get back to the room, I'd forgotten to zip up my zipper. My penis had popped through an unzipped slit and stood at full attention in Haruhi's view.

As Haruhi studied my dick, a sweet smile formed on her lips. "Oh Kyon," she whispered, "you can be such an idiot." When she stroked my shaft with her fingertips, I didn't stir.

After a moment of contemplation, she rushed back to the door and locked it. She returned to her desk, pulled back the heater, and knelt where the device had resided between my legs. Haruhi licked the sides of my shaft and kissed it before gently sucking it back to her throat. Up and down, in and out, she savored my dick as if it were her favorite flavor of Popsicle. Two minutes later, with groans of immeasurable pleasure, I climaxed into her mouth.

Her eyes widened as I filled her cheeks with love cream. Her mouth soon overflowed. Excess cum dripped on the chair seat and splashed onto the floor.

As the semen tide slowed, a rush of warmth and contentment washed over me. What an incredible dream.

I opened my eyes — and was shocked to see Haruhi Suzumiya kneeling in front of me with my dick in her mouth.

She gazed up at me with chipmunk cheeks and deep serious eyes, but her mouth didn't release me. In shock, I spurted one final time. With her lips maintaining their vacuum grip, Haruhi swallowed everything down. Then, in a garbled voice around the dick still resting on her tongue, she asked, "Are you done?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

Haruhi pulled off and licked her lips. "Good." She rose to her feet and wiped her sleeve over the corners of her mouth.

I put my softening manhood away and zipped up. "What just happened?"

"What does it look like?"

"It looks like you sucked me off."

With a stern expression, Haruhi put her hands on her hips. "Well, you didn't give me much choice, did you? You're sitting in my chair with your enormous penis popping out. What did you expect me to do? I had to take care of business."

"I'm sorry. I guess I forgot to zip my zipper… and then I crashed in your chair… and then I had this crazy dream—"

"About Mikuru." She cut me off. "I figured that's what happened."

"Did she really strip off her swimsuit while I was in the room?"

"She did."

"And she rubbed my head and kissed my cheek while totally, one-hundred-percent naked?"

"She can be such a bonehead at times."

"But I was sleeping."

"And you were snoring, too." She sighed. "With one eye partially open, obviously."

"Then you—"

"I had to do something. Suppose someone walked in and saw you like that?"

I considered mentioning that she'd locked the door, or that she could have simply woken me, but thought better of it. Instead, I offered a grateful smile. "Thanks, Haruhi. That was sweet of you."

She shook her finger. "Don't get any crazy ideas. My actions carry no romantic significance whatsoever. It's just that some girls in this school might find a sight like that irresistible, and I had to defuse the situation before some unsuspecting victim strayed in. Any conscientious leader would have done the same."

"You missed a drop." I pointed to her cheek.

She transferred the drop to her thumb and licked the thumb clean. Blushing bright red, she pulled a key out of her pocket, smacked it on the desk, and pointed to the floor. "Clean up this mess before locking up, and return the key to me in homeroom." She snatched her book bag off the table and rushed out the door.


	2. Shower Surprise

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**Chapter Two: Shower Surprise**

I tried to sleep that night, but couldn't. Memories of the day's events played in a continuous loop on the movie screen of my mind. Mikuru's naked body, those full ripe breasts, that firm round bottom, those toned, shapely legs, her kissing me. Followed soon after by the texture of Haruhi's tongue, the teasing of her soft lips, the care with which she'd blown me, her tenderness and warmth.

Thanks to a busted heater, I'd experienced one of the most amazing days of my life. As I lay on my back, my dick poked through the front slit of my pajama pants and stood as rigid as a telephone pole. Irresistible, she'd called it.

I wished she was here to "take care of business" again, but she wasn't, so I fapped into a sock while imagining she was.

###

The next morning, the girl sitting behind me in homeroom acted as if nothing had happened. She took back her key without comment. I played along.

As the day progressed, my memory of the event faded to the point where I could almost concentrate on classwork. I especially looked forward to PE.

_A dose of vigorous exercise will clear my mind._

A crisp, cool day greeted us outside on the athletic fields. I ran several laps around the track full tilt. It felt good to release all my pent-up energy. Alternately walking, jogging, and sprinting, I circled the track till the very last minute, staying out long after my classmates had returned to the locker room.

When I finally called it quits and returned to the gym, I had the locker room all to myself. I checked the wall clock. I had just enough time to rinse and make it to class. I stripped off my gym clothes, hopped into the shower, and set the hot water stream to full blast. Thirty seconds of rinsing followed by thirty seconds of drying followed by thirty seconds of dressing, and I'd be on my way.

In the midst of my rinse, the closet door opened and a girl stepped out. Dressed in her gym tights and t-shirt, Ruma Stretta approached.

Ruma was a super-cute classmate with a reputation for getting into trouble. I considered her the less brainy, more slutty version of Haruhi. Ruma liked tattoos, smoking, and cutting class. Hence, she spent a good deal of time in suspension.

"What are you doing in the men's locker room?" I asked.

She joined me in the shower. "It's my job to mop this place up after school as part of my detention chores, so I know this room really well. I drilled a peephole in that door over there." She pointed to the closet. "When I have time, I sneak in to watch you guys showering."

"Why did you ditch your hiding place?"

"I really don't know. I just couldn't help myself." She got on her knees for a close-up look at my penis. "There's something different about you today." She took it into her hands, stroked it, and glanced up. "Have you been working out?"

"No, not really."

She kissed my dick. "I've seen this guy a million times and he's always been one of my favorites, but nothing super-special. Until now."

My manhood hardened in response to her loving attention. "What's changed about him?" I asked, adopting Ruma's custom of talking about my dick as if it were a person.

"I don't know why, but he's shot to the top of the charts. He's the best of the best. I can't help myself. I've got to have him."

I recalled what Haruhi told me yesterday and asked, "Would you say he's irresistible?"

She answered my question by pulling my dick into her mouth.

It was a surreal moment. As hot water drenched the two of us and steam rose from the floor, Ruma sucked me off in an almost worshipful way. I considered telling her to stop, that her actions weren't appropriate — for about a tenth of a second. Ruma was hot, and she possessed major oral skills.

My knees buckled when I climaxed. I gushed profusely. Ruma tried but couldn't handle it. My dick popped out of her mouth and sprayed cum all over her clothes, face, and hair. To my surprise, she received my semen spray as if I'd anointed her with the whipped cream of the gods.

Eventually, the stream subsided.

"Your uniform," I said, feeling bad about the mess. "I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" Her face formed a quizzical expression. "Would you like me to take it off?"

"Would you?"

"I'll do anything you say."

"No, no." I shook my head. "That's not necessary. What I mean is that I feel bad for messing it up."

"No big deal." She giggled. "I'm in the shower and it's just a gym suit."

The class bell rang. "You better get going. A bunch of guys will be walking in here any minute, and they might get the wrong idea."

The kneeling girl holding my dick in her hands and covered with my cum gave me another quizzical look. "You mean they might not think that I just blew you?"

"Let me rephrase that. I think it might be wise to keep this episode secret."

She looked around. "Oh, yeah. You're right." She hugged my legs and kissed my dick, then rose and hurried to the exit. "Thanks a ton for letting me suck you off, Kyon," she said over her shoulder. "I'll see you around, okay?"

"Okay."

As the next PE class filtered in, I dried and dressed as quickly as possible. When I arrived late for my Algebra class, the teacher gave me a warning.

It was worth it.


	3. Seeing the Doctor

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**Chapter Three: Seeing the Doctor**

I'd hung around Haruhi Suzumiya long enough to suspect that something supernatural had happened. In the same way she'd given a cat the gift of speech and Mikuru a laser eye, she'd done something magical to my dick.

The logic made sense. My enhancement got Haruhi out of a bind. After seeing my ripe appendage and sucking it off, she couldn't admit she'd done anything outlandish. Since any red-blooded girl would find my penis irresistible, she reasoned, it was her duty to take care of business in case a North High coed accidentally walked into the room.

To save face, she projected her own inclinations on the world's female population. Like the time she made cherry blossoms bloom out of season, Haruhi's desires became our reality. The universe bent to her will.

Ruma left her hiding place in the closet because she couldn't resist my penis. One look at it instilled within her the unyielding desire to touch it, stroke it, and suck it dry. In addition, she seemed to become amenable to my suggestions. While entranced by my member, she offered to do anything I asked. _Damn._

Was my Irresistible Dick Theory accurate, or were Ruma's actions just a coincidence? She might have been playing a trick on me while a hidden camera recorded the event, and I'd soon be an Internet star. It didn't seem like her style, though. Ruma was a trouble maker, but she had her sweet side. Also, she wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch.

I resolved to counsel with my go-to person when crazy Haruhi things happened. Yuki Nagato, who as luck would have it identified as female, usually spent time in the clubroom after lunch.

"I've got an issue," I said as I entered the room. "Because of Haruhi."

Nagato, perched in her chair by the window, lowered her book.

I continued. "I think she might have changed me."

"In what way do you believe she changed you?"

I recounted the events that made me aware of my transformation. "So I'm thinking she made my penis irresistible. But I'm not one hundred percent sure."

"Do you wish to test your theory on me?" Yuki asked.

"Would you mind? I'd really like to know what I'm dealing with."

Yuki set her book on the windowsill and nodded.

I locked the door, stepped about ten feet away from her, and dropped my trousers. Standing with my thumbs in the waistband of my boxer shorts, I felt like I was in the doctor's office. "Are you sure you want to do this? Things may get strange."

"I'll be fine."

I dropped my boxer shorts and waited.

Yuki sat there for a moment, her eyes glued to my dangling dong.

"Well," I said. "Are you feeling anything?"

Yuki rose from her chair and dropped to her knees before me. After licking my shaft like her favorite flavor ice cream cone, she pulled it into her mouth. As I watched dumbfounded, Yuki used her tongue, throat, and lips with the skill only a human interface could manage. The level of ecstasy I experienced nearly buckled my knees.

As she lovingly fellated me, the expression on her usually stoic face shocked me. It matched the appearance of a normal human girl savoring every second of a blowjob. A cute feminine moan accompanied each lick, suck, and bob. She raced me toward climax very quickly. When I finally exploded in orgasmic bliss, she greedily swallowed down everything I gave her without spilling a single drop. If the table hadn't been there for support, I would have fallen on my ass.

Slowly, my wits returned. I recalled my third-period shower. At this point, Ruma seemed open to my suggestions, ready and willing to do anything I asked. So I asked Yuki, "Are you feeling unnaturally inclined to obey me right now?"

"In the presence of your penis, I won't deny you anything."

"Damn." This aspect of Haruhi's enhancement floored me. "You're just kidding, right?"

"No."

I put myself away and zipped up my pants. Instantly, Yuki's demeanor changed.

"Thanks for the blowjob," I said. "You were phenomenal."

Yuki put her hand to her mouth. "It was my first time. You're welcome." She stood, brushed off her skirt, and returned to her seat. But she didn't pick up her book. Instead, she stared out the window.

"What's your prognosis, doc?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya has made your penis irresistible. And I feel exceedingly blessed to have had the opportunity to suck it."

That seemed like a rather odd thing to say, especially coming from Yuki. "Could you work up the strength to control yourself? To circumvent its magic?"

"As a resident of this universe, I am subject to its laws. Though I am able to transmute some of them, I have no immunity to this rule."

"The rule that my penis is irresistible."

Yuki nodded.

"So what do I do?"

After giving it some thought, she answered, "I suggest you use your power wisely."

"How do you feel right now?"

"Although I don't long for your penis with the same slavish intensity that first moved me to perform fellatio on you, I still feel very warmly toward you."

"More warmly than before?"

Yuki glanced out the window, then back at me. "I believe my longing to suck your penis again, if not reinforced, may lessen in time."

"Would you be upset if I reinforced it?"

Her eyes locked onto mine. "No."

"I'd love to go again, but that wouldn't be fair to you. Plus, I think you'd wear me out pretty quickly."

"Please consider me available for any future testing."

"Okay."

Yuki lifted her book from the windowsill and resumed her reading.

I turned to leave. When I opened the door, a question popped into my head. "Hey, Yuki, how available are we talking?"

"It would please me to be used by you sexually in any way you desire."

"Damn." I closed the door.

My next class started in a couple of minutes, so I huffed down the stairs and speed-walked through the halls.

A jogger pulled up next to me. Ruma bumped her shoulder into mine. "How's it hanging, Kyon?"

"Um, pretty good I guess. I'm going to be late for History if I don't hurry."

"What's so great about being on time for class?"

_It keeps me out of detention, _I thought. But I said, "It's just something I like to do."

"Okay." Ruma nodded. "Are you going to go to gym class tomorrow?"

"I was planning on it."

Her face lit up. "Yippee!" The girl pumped her fists while spinning in circles before skipping away.


	4. Learning Lessons

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**Chapter Four: Learning Lessons**

With great power comes great responsibility. At least that's what Mr. Kent told Superman. For the next few weeks, I did my best to keep my power in my pants. You might think this is would be easy. After all, if Ruma Stretta hadn't peeked in on me from the men's locker room closet, I wouldn't even know I had this power.

But have it I did, and it weighed on me.

Life proceeded as usual in the SOS Brigade. Haruhi never mentioned blowing me and convincingly acted like it never happened. In her mind, she'd merely performed an act of civil kindness comparable to holding the door for me or warning me about a loose shoelace. Though I continued getting furtive glances from Yuki, I never showed her my dick and my power over her seemed to wane.

On the other end of the spectrum, Ruma became insatiable. At a minimum, she required daily sex. In addition, between classes she'd often pull me into random janitor closets — hideouts very familiar to her — to suck me off.

This angered a lot of my fellow male classmates. The girl used to regularly have sex with a number of guys but since experiencing my dick, nothing else compared. She cut back to servicing only her "Premium" members, the guys who gave her gifts and lunch money, and she did that grudgingly. But a girl's got to eat.

This led to other problems. Because of our disparate schedules — Ruma was always in detention and I always had club — the only good time for us to hook up was after PE class in the handicapped bathroom shower.

To be honest, if I told Ruma we needed to stop seeing each other, she would likely have obeyed, but at a heavy psychic cost because she'd gotten so addicted to me.

Okay, so maybe that last part was bullshit. Maybe I worried about my own psychic cost. When I said the girl was hot, I meant it. Though Ruma's gorgeous face and hairstyle differed from Haruhi's, her perfect Suzumiya-like body — full breasts, firm round bottom, toned shapely legs — looked nearly identical. Additionally, Ruma's smooth supple skin provided the canvas for the cutest tattoos stamped in most strategic places. Our sex sessions always went overtime.

This led to problems with my Japanese History class. My teacher, Miss Ami Miyazawa, wasn't pleased at my coming in late as often as I did. I always tried my best to finish my shower sessions with Ruma in time, but the girl's intoxicating aura had hypnotized me as well.

Things came to a head when Miss Miyazawa threatened to flunk me even though my test and homework scores were good. Her threat didn't surprise me. Her willingness to have let things slide so long surprised me more.

Her threat presented a major problem. If she flunked me, I couldn't move up to the next grade. Worse yet, if Haruhi found out, I'd be in serious trouble.

Miss Miyazawa was an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties. She dressed stylishly and my classmates loved her. When she confronted me, I took full responsibility for continuously coming in late. I deserved to get flunked, I told her. I asked if I could meet her after classes to discuss the issue.

"That would be fine," she said. "Meet me after school."

After letting Haruhi know I'd be late for our daily club session, I met Miss Miyazawa in her classroom.

She greeted me with a stern but kind expression. "I can't let you pass my class if you continue to be so disrespectful," she said. "I know you're a good guy and you work hard. You've always been one of my favorite students. But your late entries into class are disruptive and they make me look bad." She sighed. "A good teacher would have sent you to the principal weeks ago."

"I know," I replied. "You've been way more than fair. I'm sorry."

"Just get to class on time, okay? Can't you do that? Please?"

Unfortunately, I didn't want to give up my daily trysts with Ruma, and I possessed the power to easily solve this problem.

"I have a good reason for always being late," I said. "I have a medical condition. Would you mind if I showed you?" I reached for my zipper.

Miss Myazawa's mouth dropped open. "Stop that, Kyon." Her cheeks flushed and she turned her back to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you decent?"

"Yes."

"Tell the truth, because I don't like where this is going." She groaned and clenched her fists. "Okay, maybe I do like where this is going, but we can't go there."

"I'm telling the truth. I'm fine."

She turned to face me and took my hands. "I guess I've been pretty transparent, haven't I? I've never been real good at hiding my feelings." She took a deep breath. "Look Kyon, I'm flattered that you've been fantasizing about a relationship too, but I've considered all the angles. It would be way too risky for us. If people found out, there'd be nothing but trouble. I'd ruin my career and you'd get expelled."

This turn of events shocked the hell out of me. I thought Miss Miyazawa was really cute and I sensed we got along well, but I'd never had any crazy student-teacher fantasies. Taking in her beauty as she stood vulnerably before me, her hands squeezing mine, I knew that was about to change.

Was this the result of my recent metamorphosis? I didn't think so. Looking back I realized she genuinely liked me a lot.

"You're right." I lowered my gaze to the floor. "I was totally out of line. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." She kissed my cheek. "Physical attraction makes people do crazy things. But we have to rise above our animal instincts."

Her reply hit me like a sack of rice. What had I been thinking?

"So how do we handle my lateness?" I asked.

She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted back to teacher-mode. "You come to class on time, dummy."

"Is there any other way?"

"I suppose if you really had a valid medical reason for needing extra time after gym class, I could let you slide."

"Would a doctor's note work?" The image of my doctor reading her book by the window popped into my mind.

Miss Miyazawa considered my idea. "If it were official and typed on proper letterhead." She tapped her chin. "Yes, that would be acceptable."

Reverting to humble-student-mode I bowed, said "Thank you, Miss Miyazawa," and walked out the door.

After club, Doctor Yuki and I concocted the perfect note on official letterhead. I presented it to Miss Miyazawa after arriving at class late the next day.

"I hope your condition improves," she announced to everyone after reading the paper and setting it on her desk. "Please take your seat."

I'd dodged another bullet, although to be honest, it had grazed my heart. As I sat at my desk and took in Miss Miyazawa's lesson, it struck me how close I'd come to ruining her life.

I couldn't go on like this. Something had to change.


	5. Forget Me Not

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**Chapter Five: Forget Me Not**

"This is too much power for any one guy to have," I told Yuki after lunch in the clubroom. "I almost messed up the life of one of my nicest teachers." I explained how I close I got to using my powers on Miss Miyazawa. "What can I do to get out of this?"

"There's nothing I can do for you," Yuki said. "As long as Miss Suzumiya's beliefs sustain this universe and your power, your special talent will remain. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you amputated your penis. I believe that will solve your problem."

I hopped back into the fig leaf pose. "I think I'll pass on that."

"Ceasing your daily rendezvous with Miss Stretta might mitigate the issue."

Her second suggestion seemed more severe than the first. "Would you consider stepping in to fill the void?"

"Of course."

As much as I liked that plan, I knew using Yuki as a Ruma-replacement would be wrong, and not just morally. If Haruhi found out, and she likely would, I'd be in a world of hurt. It was a miracle she hadn't found out about my current affair.

If only Ruma hadn't seen me in the shower.

_Wait__… That's it! _I had the answer.

"Hey, Yuki. Since girls in the presence of my penis are willing to do anything I ask, can I get them to forget that they'd ever seen it?"

"I don't know."

I moved my fingers to my zipper. "Mind if I test?"

"I would be a poor test subject because copies of my neural net are continually backed up. Any discrepancies would be resynchronized."

"Bummer." I didn't feel comfortable experimenting on Ruma. The girl already had serious issues, and asking her to forget we'd ever had sex might exacerbate them. As my mind searched for a solution, my eyes fell upon the swimsuit hanging from the clothes rack. "I think I should test the girl who's responsible for all this."

"Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"No. That would be too dangerous, and it probably wouldn't work. I'm talking about the nude redhead whose kiss inspired the business Haruhi had to take care of."

Like clockwork, Mikuru Asahina walked through the door.

"Hi, Kyon. Hello, Miss Nagato." Mikuru reached for her maid uniform.

I stepped up to her. "Hey, do you remember the other day when I fell asleep in Haruhi's chair, and you rubbed my hair and kissed me?"

"You know about that?"

"Every detail."

Mikuru's cheeks flushed. "Oh, my."

"Somehow, it ended up in a dream."

"You dreamed about me kissing your cheek while I was—?"

"Yes, I did."

She giggled. "What else did we do?"

"Here, let me show you." I lowered my hands to my pants.

"Wait." Yuki dashed past us out of the room.

I locked the door before resuming the conversation.

Mikuru squealed when I unzipped my zipper—"Stop that, Kyon."—while her eyes remained glued to the action.

When I pulled out my dick, Mikuru's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "Oh, Kyon. It's beautiful." She rushed forward and dropped to her knees. "May I? Please?"

"Go to town."

She sucked me into her mouth.

As she joyfully bobbed her head on my manhood, I asked, "How would you describe what are you doing right now?"

In a garbled voice, she replied, "I'm milking the absolute most beautiful penis in the world for all its delicious cream." Then she returned her focus to my dick.

I enjoyed the hell out of her blowjob. Though her efforts weren't as practiced as Ruma's, or technically perfect as Yuki's, Mikuru's oral sincerity moved me. It didn't take long before I came gushing into her mouth. She swallowed it all down with pleased moans. Very little spilled. She wiped her chin and licked her fingers. Then she licked my dick clean till it sparkled like new. After kissing my balls, she sat on her ankles and gazed lovingly at my softening member.

Time to experiment.

"Experience has taught me that you're currently in a super-high state of suggestibility. Essentially, you'll do anything I ask."

The kneeling beauty nodded. "I get that."

"So I'm going to ask this, not because I'm a jerk or anything. I'm just testing."

"Go on."

"Yes or no. If I asked, would you tell me all the stuff you always say is classified?"

Mikuru frowned. "Yes, I'm pretty sure I would. But I hope you won't ask me, because it could get me into really big trouble. Plus it could mess up the space-time continuum."

"Don't worry. I won't." I put my finger to my chin. "Okay, I'd like to do another sort of test. Would it be okay if I molested you?"

"You mean like the Computer Club President, but on purpose?"

"Exactly."

"You bet." With a wide smile, Mikuru rose, leaned forward, and arched her back, thrusting her breasts toward me. "Go to town."

"Can you unwrap them first?"

"Sure." Mikuru unbuttoned a few blouse buttons and unhooked the front clasp of her bra. Her breasts extended sexily through the opening she created.

I fondled her amazing globes. "You'll still do anything I say, right?"

"Of course."

"I want you to forget everything that just happened."

"How far back?"

"From the moment you walked in."

"You want me to forget about my blowing you and you molesting me?" She glanced down at my busy hands.

"That is correct."

"Isn't that like asking me to walk on my thumbs or jump ten feet high?"

"What do you mean?"

"Some things aren't humanly impossible. For example, could you forget the blowjob I just gave you?"

"Not in a million years."

"So what makes you think I can?"

"I don't know. It's just a test." I released Mikuru's breasts and lifted my dangling penis. "I'm trying to figure out how powerful this guy is."

"Your _guy_ is the eighth wonder of the world. I'd more easily forget my name."

"Do me a favor and try to forget it," I said. "As a favor to me. Just try."

Mikuru expelled a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'll try, but there's no guarantee." She closed her bra and buttoned her blouse.

I put myself away and zipped up my pants. "Thanks. That's all I can ask. Just wait outside."

Mikuru walked to the door, repeating, "Forget, forget, forget." She stepped out into the hallway, continuing the chant. "Forget, forget, forget."

I closed the door, waited five minutes, and shouted, "Come in, please, Mikuru."

She stepped back into the club room. "Oh… hi, Kyon."

"Hi, Mikuru. How has your day been?"

"It's been fine."

"I'm curious," I said. "Did anything strange or unusual happen recently?"

"How recently?"

"Say… in the last fifteen minutes."

"No, not really. Why do you ask?"

"It worked, it worked, it worked." I started hopping up and down. "This is great. This is great."

"You can rest assured that the memory of my blowing you and you molesting me has been completely purged from my brain. I don't remember any of it. Not a bit."

I stopped hopping. "Liar."

"Is that not allowed?"

I groaned. "No, of course not."

"No fair. It's the only way I can make you happy." She frowned. "Are you mad at me now? Are you going to make your penis off limits?"

"No, I could never hold a grudge against you, and no." I took out my dick, sat in my chair, and spread my legs. "You can suck it any time you'd like."

A wide smile lit up her face, and she dove onto her knees.

Once she finished round two, I once again put myself away. Yuki walked into the room as Mikuru left.

"It didn't work," I told her.

"I'm not surprised."

I patted my package. "So, I'm stuck with this thing."

"For as long as Miss Suzumiya chooses to sustain this law."

"Then I guess that's how it is." I pondered Haruhi's new universal law for a few moments. "It's all up to Haruhi. I can't escape it."

"It would seem so."

"Then I've got no choice. The only way to rid myself of this affliction is to convince Haruhi that my dick isn't irresistible anymore."

I spent the rest of the week devising the perfect plan.


	6. The Plan

.

**Chapter Six: Accidents Can Happen**

After wolfing down a quick lunch, I darted to the clubroom for a meeting. Yuki and Mikuru were already sitting at the table when I stepped in. "I've devised the perfect plan," I said as I took a seat opposite them.

Mikuru raised her hand.

I took a deep breath. "Yes, Mikuru. You have a question already?"

"Yes, I do. Can I please suck your dick?"

Since showing Mikuru my irresistible penis, she asked me daily for permission to suck it. To my surprise, she'd become as voracious as Ruma. I had stupidly assumed she'd be able to control her desires like Yuki had, but I quickly recognized my error. Yuki's humanoid interface nature equipped her with far better self-control than Mikuru.

I groaned. "Can I tell you my plan first?"

Mikuru licked her lips. "Can it wait?"

Yuki rose from her seat. "Should I leave the room?"

"No," I said. "Both of you stay. I need to explain my plan." I turned to the horny redhead. "Afterward, you can blow me."

She glanced at the clock. "How long is this going to take?"

"Not long."

"Can I come over to your side of the table and stroke you while you tell us your plan?"

"No. You're going to have to be patient and keep your hands in your lap. Now give me your full attention, or I'll cut you down to one B.J. per week."

"Understood." Mikuru put her hands in her lap and sat up straight. "I'm all ears."

I waited a few seconds.

She remained still.

I continued. "During the club meeting today, at an opportune time, I'll be stepping out."

"Why?" Mikuru asked.

"I don't know yet. I'll think up a reason. While I'm out, I'll pull the fire alarm. You two, Koizumi, and Haruhi will leave the room and head outside with everyone else. While you're all mulling around the quad area waiting for the all-clear signal, I'll sneak back into the club room."

I waited to make sure they got the concept.

"That's your plan?" Mikuru asked.

"No," I replied. "That's just phase one. Once I have the club room to myself, I'm going to sit at the commander's desk, turn on Haruhi's computer, and pull out my dick."

Mikuru's face lit up. "Can you demonstrate?"

"No," I snapped. "If I did, you two would be on your knees in an instant."

"I suppose that's true." She frowned. Under her breath, she added, "Darn, so close."

Yuki subtly nodded her agreement.

"Eventually, they'll let you back into the building," I said. "But I need the three of you to make excuses to delay your return so Haruhi comes back alone."

"Pull the fire alarm near the end of the day," Mikuru said. "We'll make sure to bring our stuff outside so we can all go directly home. Since Miss Suzumiya holds the key, she'll go back to lock up and turn off my tea warmer."

"That's an excellent idea, Mikuru. Thank you."

"Did it earn me bonus points?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Woo-hoo!" Mikuru yelped. "Okay, you're sitting at her desk with your dick out, and she enters the room. Then what?"

"I'm going to navigate to the folder to which she uploaded the camera data from your swimsuit photoshoot, and I'm going to pretend to jerk myself off to those pictures." I winked. "I'm sure that'll work."

"I'm flattered," Mikuru said. "But how is that going to make your dick… _resistible?__"_

"When Haruhi walks in and sees me wanking to pictures of you in your Speedo, she's going to get jealous — so jealous, in fact, her lofty opinion of my dick will suffer."

Yuki tilted her head. "That may not be the wisest course of action."

"Dittos on that," said Mikuru. "You might end up suffering as well."

"I'm sure there'll be some risks, but I have a feeling she'll let me slide once I explain myself."

"How do you plan to explain away your masturbating to sexy pictures of me at her desk?"

"I'll tell her, since your naked kiss after that photoshoot got me hard in the first place, I was naturally curious about what happened before that. And one thing led to another."

"Sounds to me like you're trying to recreate a past win. Do you think she'll suck you off again?"

"Not this time," I said. "Last time she sucked me off because I exposed myself accidentally. This time, the exposure will be solely my fault — and it should inspire just the right amount of jealousy to break the spell."

"Do you really think she'll make the connection?"

"How can it miss?" When the girls returned skeptical frowns, I leaned forward on my elbows. "Look, on some level, Haruhi wants my dick, even though she might not accept this fact consciously. Otherwise, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in. This is going to work."

"I still think it's risky."

"Do either of you have a better idea?"

The girls looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Is that it?" Mikuru asked.

"Yes, it is. Can I count on you to get Koizumi to play along?"

"I'll let him know the plan." Mikuru glanced at the clock. "We still have ten minutes."

I walked around the table and turned toward the girls. "You may want to step outside, Yuki." As I reached for my zipper, Mikuru dropped to her knees at my feet.

"May I stay?" Yuki asked.

"Seriously?"

"I don't mind," Mikuru said.

Yuki knelt next to her as I lowered my zipper. "Fine with me."

The girls' mouths watered with anticipation, and they gasped with awe when my dick hit daylight. They immediately started blowing me using the tag-team method. While one girl's mouth enveloped the end of my dick, the other licked my balls and shaft. They went at it for about six minutes, switching every thirty seconds, kind of like musical chairs. When the music finally stopped and I couldn't hold out another second, I sprayed my seed into the winning girl's mouth; who turned out to be Yuki this time; which seemed only fair since Mikuru had blown me so many times already.

After they licked me clean and thanked me for the honor of blowing me, they kissed my dick goodbye. I zipped up and sprinted to class via an alternate route. Fortunately, Ruma didn't find me in the hall. I made it to my seat a second before the bell rang.


	7. Accidents Can Happen

.

**Chapter Seven: Accidents Can Happen**

The day passed quickly. Before I knew it, classes ended, club time commenced, and I was ready to implement my plan.

When I stepped through the club room door, however, butterflies flooded my stomach in a jumble of nerves. It took me several attempts to open my bookbag. When I tried to play chess with Koizumi, my hands shook and my heart raced like a sports car.

Worst-case scenarios kept floating into my brain. What if my plan backfired? What if it worked too well? What would happen to my manhood? Was I an idiot for not wanting to have an irresistible dick?

Sensing my state of mind, Mikuru served me a cup of her special Kahlua brew — a blend of tea and a shot of alcohol-infused creamer.

The spiked tea tasted awesome. Downing a full cup took the edge off my nerves.

"Hey." Haruhi sniffed the air. "What smells so good?" She rose. "Can I have some of that, Mikuru?"

As Haruhi approached the tea station, I rushed toward the door. "I'll be back in a jiff," I said. "I need to go downstairs to check on something." Before Haruhi could complain, I bolted down to the first floor. I chose the perfect fire alarm. Out of the way, next to a janitorial closet, the red lever avoided the view of security cameras.

I checked the time — fifteen minutes to closing — and pulled the lever. Alarm bells screeched. Soon after, everyone shuffled outside. I hid in the closet as students filed past.

With the building empty, I jogged up the stairs, snuck back into the club room, and locked the door. Then I parked in Haruhi's commander's chair and fired up her computer. The sweet smell of Mikuru's Kahlua tea still powerfully perfumed the air. Haruhi must have had several cups of it.

After cycling through a few of her favorite passwords, I broke into her account. I navigated to her images folder and found the pictures she'd taken of Mikuru on that fateful day.

They looked spectacular. The sexy blue nylon swimsuit hugging the redhead's shapely body left little to the imagination. I lowered my zipper to let my erection rise skyward.

I stroked myself from time to time as I shifted from one picture to the next. Arms folded under breasts, bending over looking backward, wrists crossed overhead — photographer Haruhi Suzumiya knew her poses well.

_Damn, these shots are hot._

I felt a climax approaching.

_Stop it. Too soon. Too soon._

I closed my eyes, blanked my mind, and took a deep breath. I needed to keep my arousal level in the safe zone — sufficiently hard but not too close to making a mess. That's how I needed Haruhi to find me.

I considered climaxing the moment she stepped through the door, but mucking up her desk, keyboard, and monitor in her presence was probably overkill. Besides, I didn't have a porn star's ejaculatory self-control to pull it off.

Maintaining the perfect level of arousal proved more difficult than expected. The poses Haruhi ran Mikuru through, one sexier than the next, made my dick throb with anticipation. My erection felt like a gun on a hair-trigger about to fire. I needed relief badly.

But I had to hold on.

After viewing the last picture in a folder labeled 'Speedo,' I glanced at the clock. It read one minute to closing time. I checked the side of Haruhi's desk. Her book bag still hung there. According to plan, Mikuru, Yuki, Koizumi had taken all their stuff with them, and they'd head home now, letting Haruhi return to the club room alone.

Those swimsuit shots had prepared me. My dick was rock hard.

I glanced at the door, then at the picture gracing the monitor — a profile shot of Mikuru bent forward, her back arched, her breasts stretching their nylon encasement to its limits.

_Bring it on, Suzumiya. _I imagined the look on the brigade leader's face when she found me sitting here, gazing at the sexy shot. I had all the answers to her questions ready to go.

_Why was I here?_ I got back early.

_How did I get into her PC? _She left it on.

_Why was I looking at the Mikuru pictures?_ I ran into them by accident while searching for web site files.

The end-of-club bell rang, but still no Haruhi. My anxiety flared up again, and my erection waned.

_Shit. _I needed to stay hard, but the profile shot wasn't doing it for me anymore. I needed a new angle.

I scanned the file list and found a folder labeled 'S-D.' _What__'s the hell does S-D mean? _Double-clicking the folder revealed a video file labeled "Shower Dance." _No way._ I started the video. My jaw fell open.

There, in the boy's gym locker room, dressed in her sexy blue Speedo, Mikuru Asahina stood in the streams of several showers. It looked like Haruhi had started them all.

_"Dance around a bit, girl. You look awesome." _Haruhi's directions played through the computer's speakers. When Mikuru followed them, my dick instantly hardened. _"Give me a sexy smile."_

_"But what if a boy steps in?" _Mikuru asked.

_"No one's going to come in for at least an hour. It's perfectly safe. I guarantee it."_

_"Well… okay." _The redhead gave the camera a sexy smile and undulated her hips.

_"Nice, nice, Mikuru. You're a natural. Now turn up the heat."_

The redhead squinted. _"Should I turn on more hot water?"_

_"You're in the boy's locker room shower. You know what to do."_

_"Can you give me a hint?" _Mikuru asked.

_"Pretend they're here and watching you. Then get naked and lather up."_

Mikuru's eyes widened. She pulled her arms over her chest and froze. _"No way."_

The camera shook when Haruhi lowered it to waist level. She now held it by the lens. _"I swear __I won't take a single picture. I simply want you to get some modeling practice. Come on, let's have some fun. It's just us girls here."_

True to her word, Haruhi was no longer taking pictures. She'd switched the camera to video mode.

_"But what if the boys actually come?"_

_"Then they'll get the show of their life."_

After considering Haruhi's words, a sly smile formed on Mikuru's face and she hooked her thumbs into her swimsuit's shoulder straps. _"Okay."_

I drooled as Mikuru slowly and sexily pulled the nylon off of her body and down her legs. Though I'd seen her naked in my dreams and fondled her breasts in real life, her performance took me to another level.

_"That's awesome, Mikuru. Now soap up your ass."_

_Oh, shit. _I felt a climax rushing on and I couldn't stop it. Worse yet, I had nowhere to expel my load.

I scanned the room. Several dish towels sat on the shelf near the tea station. I rose, pulsating shaft in hand, and used all my willpower to keep from coming before I reached those towels.

As I approached with my free arm outstretched, my feet slid out from under me. My butt hit the floor, followed soon after by my back and skull.

When the birds flying in formation around my head flew away, I found myself flat on my back, the soles of my feet facing the door, my rock-hard dick at attention pointing up at the ceiling. My palms patted the sticky, slippery liquid coating the ground. When I glanced to my left, I saw the Kahlua cream bottle on a saucer on the shelf, slowly leaking.

No wonder it smelled so good in the club room. Most of the contents of the Kahlua cream bottle had seeped onto the floor. I hadn't noticed the puddle because I'd gone directly to Haruhi's desk along the other side of the table after entering.

On the bright side, the shock of falling flat on my ass stifled my urge to climax somewhat.

The doorknob rattled. Haruhi Suzumiya's silhouette filled its smoked-glass window before the door swung open.

Haruhi surveyed the scene. "Kyon?" Her eyes bulged when she saw my penis. "What the hell is going on?" She took a step toward my erection.

Then her feet hit the Kahlua puddle.

Her legs slid to and fro as she tried to maintain her balance. Her arms flailed to the sides like helicopter blades as her momentum carried toward me. When she separated her feet to avoid stepping on my knee, her legs kept spreading, sliding in the puddle, as if she were performing a cheerleading split.

Gravity was drawing Haruhi down on top of me, and I couldn't stop it. The trajectory of her bum headed straight for the tip of my shaft. Knowing my dick would soon be compressed like an accordion — that is, if it didn't break — I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

###

Let me digress for a moment to share what happened in the club room right after I left.

As I mentioned earlier, when Haruhi got a whiff of my Kahlua tea, she wanted a cup of her own. In fact, she got up to see how Mikuru mixed the ingredients. As Mikuru demonstrated, Haruhi grabbed the Kahlua bottle that had been sitting on the stool and set it on the shelf. Then she flipped up her skirt and sat down on the stool — right in the middle of a puddle of Kahlua cream.

"Don't sit there," Mikuru warned, three seconds too late.

Haruhi had drenched her panties. Being her immodest self, she stood, stripped off her underwear, and wiped her sticky bare bum with a wet cloth. She faced the opposite side of the room while cleaning herself under her skirt, so no private parts reached Koizumi's view. Lastly, she stuffed her wet panties in her bag.

###

Haruhi's bottom descended toward my spike.

Like a golf ball sailing toward a hole-in-one, her bare bum's trajectory was flawless. My dick speared her vagina perfectly as her butt cheeks bounced on my thighs. Being suddenly enveloped by Haruhi's wonderfully snug love canal was more than I could bear. Thanks to a mixture of dread followed instantly by relief, I experienced the most intense orgasm of my life. I spurted and spurted and spurted.

"Oh, my," Haruhi squealed as her womb filled with seed. It soon overflowed.

When my spurts subsided, Haruhi tucked in her nearly horizontal legs and straddled me cowgirl style. Semen seeped out of her love canal down her thighs.

"Oh, my." Her eyes blinked rapidly. "What just happened?"

"You slipped and fell in the puddle of Kahlua cream," I replied, "right after I did."

"What the hell, Kyon?" With a perplexed expression, she placed her hands on her hips. "You fucked me! Really hard. And you filled me with your sperm."

I raised my shoulder blades off the ground and looked down the length of my body. "Technically, you initiated the act."

"I did not." Haruhi shook her head, but she didn't get off the rigid penis spearing her. "I can't believe this happened. What are the odds?" She stuck her index finger into my chest. "This is all _your_ fault."

"It is not." I pointed to her exposed private region. "I slid into you like you were expecting me. Your vagina is soaking wet."

"Of course, it is. You'd get aroused too if you had to walk around in a skirt without panties. All the guys walking on the stairs ahead of me could have seen everything if they'd known to turn around. On top of that, the wind outside kept blowing my skirt up, flashing my bottom. This fire alarm couldn't have come at a worse time." Her eyes narrowed. "So… how did _you_ get like this?"

"I told you. I fell."

She glanced down at the base of my dick. "You know what I mean."

I told her about stumbling onto the video of Mikuru's shower dance while searching for web site files, and subsequently needing a towel. Haruhi told me about her accidentally sitting on a stool coated with Kahlua cream. As we exchanged stories, Haruhi gently rode me, expertly keeping me rock hard inside of her, far better than I ever could have managed.

When we finished sharing, she paused to think. "You're such an idiot." She forced a frown to suppress a smile. "But I suppose it is partly my fault for creating that video in the first place." Her eyes widened. "Hey, your guy just twitched inside of me."

_My guy? Is this a universal thing?_

I faked my best sad face. "Sorry."

Haruhi continued riding me. "Did you know that unsatiated erections are a contributing factor to a whole slew of health problems? As your concerned leader, I can't leave you like this." She shook her finger like a disappointed mom. "We've gotten past the recriminations, and you're lucky this is a safe day for me, so no harm, no foul. And we both agree this was a one-in-a-million fluke. And we won't talk about it to anyone." She bent forward. "And we especially won't ascribe any special romantic meaning to any of this because it was just an accident." Her knuckles tapped my chest. "You got that, mister?"

I nodded. "Understood."

She giggled. "You're still so hard and twitchy." She tensed her vaginal muscles, gripping me. "Okay, one more round because it's my duty as your leader, but that's it. Don't expect me to relieve you in the future."

We enjoyed our second round of sex. Actually, Haruhi's first round because she didn't come during round one. Judging from her moans during our wind-up and screams at climax, she made up for that deficiency.

After collecting herself, Haruhi dismounted and wiped herself clean, likely with the same wet towel. Then she tossed her book bag over her shoulder and strolled to the door. "When I get back here tomorrow, this place better be spotless." She tossed me the door key. "Lock up and give that back to me in homeroom."


	8. Jealousy

.

**Chapter Eight: Jealousy**

Having completed two rounds of accidental mind-blowing sex with Haruhi Suzumiya, my cock ached contentedly. Now I had to clean up the room.

_That__'s no fun._

I considered searching campus for a cute female straggler who'd consider trading mopping chores for a view of the eighth wonder of the world.

_A win-win for everyone._

A hot girl from the calligraphy club named Mizuho often stayed late. She'd be perfect for the job. Chances were good she'd mop up the Kahlua for me if I offered her the right incentive. In fact, she'd probably do the work naked and blow me afterward if I asked nicely.

_Stop it, Kyon. The power is going to your head._

It took me about an hour to mop the creams off the club room floor. I had worse luck getting the sticky stuff off my uniform but did the best I could with a wet rag. Once I finished, I pulled out my dick and looked down. Despite recently filling Haruhi's wonderous love canal, it didn't look any different.

_Did you expect it to glow or something?_

Maybe. After all, my dick shot into Haruhi like a cruise missile that knew exactly where to go. On the other hand, I'd just been lying there. Haruhi's vagina did the homing. My dick merely acted like a magnet.

_Why sex? _

Good question. After all, she could have fallen forward with her mouth open or something similarly nuts. Who knows what kind of accidents Haruhi's universe could create?

_Was sex her goal? _

I considered a plausible scenario. After seeing my dick and sucking it, Haruhi developed an unquenchable desire to have regular sex with me. Yet she stubbornly refused to acknowledge any romantic feelings toward me because it wouldn't be proper. The universe worked out a way for her to attain her objective. Now that she'd attained her ultimate goal without having to admit she liked me, everything may have snapped back to normal.

_There__'s a good chance you're not irresistible anymore._

There was only one way to find out — more testing. I considered visiting Ruma Stretta, but she had no knowledge of Haruhi's powers, and I wasn't about to share those secrets with anyone. Also, she may have gotten accustomed to my dick and learned to love it for real, apart from its irresistible power.

I considered visiting Yuki Nagato. She'd give me the answer in a second, along with a phenomenal blowjob.

_You know what you really want, Kyon. Admit it._

As always, the truth bubbled to the surface. I couldn't get that sexy video of Mikuru out of my head. The fact that I'd transferred it to my phone before leaving school and watched it a dozen times may have been a contributing factor.

I went to Mikuru's place and knocked on her door.

"Hi, Kyon," she answered with a bright smile. "How did it go?"

"Things didn't turn out like I'd planned," I said. "You wouldn't believe what happened if I told you."

"Try me." She took my hand and led me into her plush, spacious apartment. We sat on the living room couch.

As I described our slipping and falling into sexual bliss after I viewed the photoshoot pictures — I didn't mention the video — Mikuru couldn't stop laughing. "That's incredible. If this accident had happened to anybody else but Miss Suzumiya, I wouldn't believe it, but with her, it's par for the course." She glanced down. "So the odds are pretty good she didn't change you."

"I don't know about that," I replied. "There's a good chance I'm back to normal if having sex with me was her ultimate goal."

"You don't know girls very well."

"That's why I'm here. Since you've been a test subject in the past, would you mind if I used you again?"

"You want to _use _me, huh?" She dropped to her knees between my legs. "I'd be honored."

I slid forward to the edge of the couch and gripped my zipper. "This might be a letdown."

Mikuru licked her lips. "Let me be the judge of that."

I pulled out my dick.

Mikuru blushed and turned her head away.

"No way," I said. "Am I cured?"

Mikuru groaned. "Sorry, Kyon, but that's all the willpower I could muster." She snapped her head back and took me into her mouth.

I intertwined my fingers behind my neck and reclined as the red-haired beauty gently sucked me off yet again. Once she finished, she hugged my legs and lovingly kissed my balls. Then she gazed up at me with a wet smile and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

"Your penis is so amazing. In fact, I think it's more beautiful than ever now."

Having Mikuru in a state of peak susceptibility and minimal modesty, I felt moved to show her something. "Did you know about this?" I took out my phone and played the video of her in the shower. "This is really hot."

Mikuru shot me a sly smile. "Yes. I noticed the flashing red light on the camera when she pretended not to shoot this."

"So you knew?"

"Of course. And I'm flattered that you like it. Is this your way of asking me to dance naked for you in person?"

_Busted. _

"I suppose. Would you?"

"You still don't understand the power you have over me, do you? I'll do anything I can think of to win your favor."

"You'd dance naked for me just to get on my good side?"

"Absolutely." She rose and unbuttoned her blouse.

"But it doesn't seem fair."

"What do you mean?" She slipped off her shorts.

"There's really nothing special about my penis. It's actually normal except for the curse Haruhi put on it."

Mikuru removed her bra. "That's where you're wrong." After sliding her panties down her legs and kicking them to the side, the nude beauty proudly clasped her wrist behind her back. "You couldn't comprehend what your penis does for me."

"What does it do?"

"It's a combination of things that are hard to describe."

"Can you try?"

"Okay." Mikuru paused. "The feeling is like looking at a breathtaking sunset or a magnificent work of art — multiplied by ten. As for my desire to have it, it's like I've spent the week walking across a desert with an empty canteen and you're offering me a cool glass of water. Words can't adequately describe it." She sat next to me and took my hand. "I understand why you think it's not fair, and that you're cursed, but that's where you're wrong. You should think of it more like hitting the lotto jackpot, and now you've got lots of resources to help out your female friends."

"Would you be sitting next to me naked if it weren't for this power?"

Mikuru tilted her head. "I don't know. You never asked me to strip naked for you before. I might have." She pointed to the video playing on my phone. "I've been known to do crazy things now and then."

She rose, pulled me up, and led me to a bathroom that featured an impressive glass-walled walk-in shower. She turned the jets on full blast to let the steam rise.

"If it's okay with you," she said, "I'm going to dance for you first, and then, I was hoping you'd join me."

"I could definitely use a good rinse."

A pleased smile lit up her face. "Good."

"Why are you being so ridiculously sexy?"

"Girls are keenly aware of the competition out there, so we'll go above and beyond to get what we want." She stepped into the stream to soak herself, then turned and wiggled her bottom. "Would you please scrub my back?"

I had a hell of a fun time sexually using Mikuru Asahina, plus I got to take a sorely needed shower. My gorgeous hostess went out of her way to help me clean my penis to the best of her ability, using soap, her breasts, and her tongue.

Afterward, as we sat on the couch, dressed in cotton robes, sipping tea spiked with Kahlua poured from an uncracked bottle, I asked her another question. "Did you enjoy having sex with me, or would you rather suck me off?"

"Sex is okay. I mean, it's really wonderful. Don't get me wrong. But that's just orgasm-grade fun. Nothing beats the rush of drinking in the full beauty of your penis with my tongue, nose, and eyes, up close and personal." She giggled. "And the taste of your semen is out of this world." She took a sip of her tea. "This stuff tastes like sewer water in comparison."

###

After leaving Mikuru's apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. I truly loved the girl as a special friend, and I know she cared for me in the same way, but everything felt different now. Despite Mikuru's claims, she wasn't herself around me.

I'd won her attention, love, and admiration without doing any work — because of _him._

To be honest, she wasn't in love with me at all. She was in love with _my guy. _Now, at last, I finally understood why all these girls referred to my penis as a separate individual. In a way, he really was. None of these hotties truly cared about me. They wanted to hang out with _him. _

This sudden realization made me extremely jealous.

Once again, the power of my penis had led to corruption. It corrupted me and messed up an extraordinary relationship with a special friend. The video of Mikuru's striptease in the shower sparked my fantasies, and I used my power to make my dreams come true. Under normal circumstances, I would have kept my fantasies to myself.

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely," Lord Byron once said. How much was I going to let this power corrupt me?

Turns out, I was just getting started.


	9. Corruption

.

**Chapter Nine: Corruption**

After a quick lunch in the cafeteria, I hustled over to the clubroom where Mikuru Asahina waited for me. We'd recently adopted a ritual where I stopped in daily to provide Mikuru with a creamy after-lunch dessert. Since our rendezvous in her shower, she upgraded our routine. In addition to using her mouth, she got really good at getting me off with her smooth luscious breasts. In retaliation for her anthropomorphizing my penis, I treated her breasts like separate individuals too, though not nearly to the extent _my guy_ came alive to Mikuru.

When I entered the club room, she greeted me naked on her knees. She stripped for two reasons, I think. She told me officially that she did it because titty-fucks got messy. My cum often sprayed onto her chest, thighs, and face. The second, more accurate reason she stripped was that she sensed how much I enjoyed viewing her incredible unclothed body.

One day, after a particularly hot and messy dessert dispensing session, Mikuru took longer than usual to wipe herself clean with the warm wet towels she set aside for the task. She'd agreed to meet her best friend Tsuruya after our session, but when our meeting went overtime, Tsuruya stalked up to the club room to track down her friend.

The timing couldn't have been worse. When Mikuru and I parted at the door, the hallway was empty. As was her custom, she kissed me on the cheek while patting my package. I returned the favor by squeezing her breasts and saying, "Seeya later, Elbee and Arbee." (Elbee = L.B. = Left Breast, Arbee = R.B. = Right Breast)

On this fateful day, Tsuruya trotted up the stairs while I was in mid-squeeze. She ducked down before Mikuru or I noticed her.

Later that day, as I speed-walked down the hallway on my way to my English class, a familiar girl stopped my progress. Blocking my way, her long flowing hair reaching down past her knees, her hands resting on her hips, an angry frown twisting her face, Tsuruya had a score to settle.

"What do you think you're doing, Buster?" She poked her finger into my chest.

"I think I'm trying to get to class. I'd love to chat, but I really don't have time for this. Would you mind stepping out of my way?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Well… yeah. What's your problem?"

"Come with me. It's about Mikuru, and it's important."

I followed her into a nearby empty classroom.

She locked the door and turned. "Have you been taking advantage of Mikuru?"

"No, of course not. She's one of my dearest friends in the world."

"She likes you too. But I saw you do something inappropriate today."

_What the hell is she talking about?_

If anyone did something inappropriate, it was Mikuru doing inappropriate things to me. She'd pleasured me so often, her tongue and breasts had indentations the shape of my dick in them.

The halls had emptied as everybody now sat in class. I'd be late again no matter what. It seemed Miss Tsuruya needed to vent, so I leaned against a desk and let her talk.

"You've been taking advantage of that girl, haven't you? She won't tell me anything, but I can tell she's different."

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I've been nothing but a gentleman to that girl." I reconsidered my words. "Actually, let me put it this way. I haven't ever done anything to Mikuru for which I didn't get permission."

Tsuruya's eyes widened, and her nostrils flared. Before I could react, she leveled a side-kick to my gut, followed by an uppercut to the chin as I stumbled back. I dropped to the floor like a bag of rice.

"Shit." I rubbed my chin and massaged my ribs. "That hurt."

She bent forward over me. "It was supposed to." She stepped back and crouched down into a fighting stance. "Get up and take your medicine."

I held up my palm. "Wait, I can explain."

"No explanations are necessary. I saw the way you played with Mikuru's breasts in the middle of a public hallway."

"What?" Suddenly, I remembered what I'd done earlier that day. Her assessment was pretty accurate. "I did that after she patted my package. It's a ritual we do after she blows me."

Tsuruya's eyes widened in shock. "I can't believe how you keep besmirching the reputation of one of the sweetest girls in the world. I'm breaking some bones."

"Wait," I repeated. "It's not what you think."

But actually, it was. I had no idea why Tsuruya got so exceptionally pissed. Had she and Mikuru made a pact to protect each other's virginity?

"Get off your ass and fight like a man."

I scampered to the back of the classroom. I had no intention of fighting Tsuruya. For two reasons.

Reason one: She was a girl, and I had a policy of not fighting girls.

Reason two: She was a third-degree black belt in Karate.

"Okay, okay."

I used the wall as a brace as I slowly got to my feet. With fire raging in her eyes, Tsuruya approached me. It took me less than a second to lower my zipper and whip out my dick. I did it so often by now, I'd compressed the process down to one quick seamless motion.

Instantly, Tsuruya's mouth dropped open. Her arms fell to her sides. "Wow. Is that for real?"

"Yes, it is." I sighed with relief.

She dropped to her knees for a closer look. "I've never seen anything this wonderful."

"You've never seen a penis before?"

"Well, I used to play doctor with my younger brother when we were kids, and I've seen lots of pictures. But I've never seen a grown man's penis up close and personal. I had no idea they were so amazing."

"Do you still want to kick my ass?"

"I wouldn't harm the owner of this penis if my life depended on it. In fact, I'd kick the ass of anyone that wanted to hurt you." She looked up at me. "I'm really sorry about picking a fight with you before."

"Your kick to my gut really hurt." I rubbed my chin. "And you might have loosened a tooth."

"I'm really sorry for the misunderstanding." She took my penis into her hands and lovingly stroked it.

"Did I give you permission to touch me?"

Tsuruya placed her hands behind her back and focused on the ground. "I'm sorry."

The normal Kyon would have let bygones be bygones at this point. He would have let it go. He would have accepted Tsuruya's apology and enjoyed her blowjob afterward.

Unfortunately, this corrupted version of Kyon was on a power trip with a major chip on his shoulder.


	10. Vengeance

.

**Chapter Ten: Vengeance**

My blood boiled, and steam rose from my ears.

_How dare this spoiled, rich, bitch threaten me with violence?_

Tsuruya's eyes remained locked on my penis.

_This undeserving wench needs to be taught a lesson._

"I don't mean to rush you…" She glanced up. "…but could I start sucking your dick already?"

Normally, I would have said "Yes" with a grateful smile_, _but Tsuruya really pissed me off. I hated her for how small she made me feel. There's something demeaning about getting manhandled by a female, especially the one currently on her knees begging to blow me.

I stepped next to one of the student desks. "Take off all your clothes and bend over here." I patted the desktop.

She stripped as quickly as she could, leaving clothes strewn about the room, then bent forward till her forearms rested on the desktop. "Is this acceptable?"

"Almost." I folded her forearms under her shoulder blades, nudged her ankles apart, and pushed her chest into the desktop. As my left hand clamped her wrists together at the small of her back, my right hand explored her lovely bare behind. "You've got a nice solid ass."

"Daily Karate workouts keep me pretty fit." She turned her head sideways. "What are you going to do to me?"

"What will you let me do to you in exchange for experiencing my dick?"

"To be honest, I don't know yet."

"What do you say we play it by ear?" I used her knee socks to tie her ankles to the desk legs, then removed my belt and wrapped it around her forearms. With two fingers, I lifted her chin. "I'll give you a quick sample before the main course. Get my dick nice and wet."

"Okay, Kyon."

_Kyon?_

I slapped her bottom.

"EEEEEEP!" She let out a wide-eyed shriek.

"Only my friends get to call me that. From now on, you'll address me as Boss."

"Yes, Boss."

I pushed my beltless pants down to the floor, followed soon after by my boxers, while she worked up a reservoir in her cheeks. When my dick reached her lips, she liberally coated it with her saliva.

I rubbed her head. "Good job." I stepped behind her, grabbed her hips, and eased the tip of my shaft up to her anus.

"Hey, wait a minute. What are you doing?" Her voice trembled. "It's not supposed to go in there."

I thrust my pelvis forward and plunged my shaft deep into her asshole.

She screamed, shuddered, and struggled, but her restraints inhibited her ability to fight. As she winced, whined, and sobbed, I fucked her hard and deep.

My pelvis bounced off her bottom. WHAP - WHAP - WHAP

She glanced over her shoulder. "I can't believe you're butt-fucking me." Tears streamed down her cheeks, and the sound of her sobs echoed off the walls.

I smacked the side of the ass. "Did I give you permission to talk?" As I ramped up the ferocity of my pumping, an evil smile formed on my lips. _This is your punishment for fucking with the mighty Kyon, bitch._

The Klingons say vengeance is a dish best served cold, but I couldn't imagine anything topping the satisfaction produced by the friction-induced heat radiating from her amazingly tight ass cavity.

Achieving climax felt like entering paradise. I grabbed her hips, pulled her body into mine with all my might, and gushed inside her like a semen-spewing version of Old Faithful. Eventually, my cock spasms subsided, and I collapsed onto her back.

"Holy shit, that was incredible," I said. I pushed myself up off the desk and eased my dick out of her.

Tsuruya bawled as my cum seeped out of her ass. "I can't believe you did that to me," she blubbered. "My first time was supposed to be special." Tears streamed off her cheeks onto the floor.

"Are you saying you didn't like it?"

"Of course not," she screamed. "How would you like getting a telephone pole rammed up your asshole?" She clenched her fists and shook her arms. "You slimy fucking pervert."

I retrieved a ruler from the chalkboard gutter and held it before her eyes. "I just want you to know, this is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me." I started wailing on her ass.

WHACK - WHACK - WHACK - WHACK - WHACK

She screamed a little louder each time I made contact. Though she tried to maintain her dignity like a trooper, eventually the waterworks started flowing again. Thirty good whacks left her ass beet red. A mixture of tears and snot dripped to the floor.

It took a minute for her to stop sobbing, catch her breath, and taunt me. "Is that all you got, you lowlife pussy?"

I crossed my arms. "You want more?"

"Of course not. How would you like getting your bare ass beat with a ruler, you inbred jerk?"

WHACK

"EEEEEEP!"

Her muscles tensed when I rubbed her glowing butt cheeks.

"You know," she said, "I used to think you were an okay guy, though maybe a bit of a pansy. But now I totally hate your lousy scumbag guts."

"Are you going to want revenge after I let you go?"

She tilted her head and squinted. "Are you dim or something? Do you not understand plain Japanese?"

"No, and no."

"What did I tell you fifteen minutes ago?"

I searched my memory. "I'm paraphrasing here. You said you'd never hurt the owner of my penis and would hurt anyone that did."

"It's nice to see you're not a total retard."

WHACK - WHACK - WHACK

"EEEEEEP!"

She took a few deep breaths after I let up on her butt. "Sadistic asshole."

"What did I tell you to call me?"

"Sorry. Sadistic asshole Boss. I hope you're enjoying yourself."

I chuckled at her reply. "Actually, yes, I am. A lot. Are you?"

She growled instead of replying.

I untied her ankles and helped her stand.

She leaned forward while arching her back. "What's next? Are you going to beat on my boobs?"

I cupped her lovely breasts. "These are really nice."

"EEEEEEP!" Her eyes bulged when I pinched and twisted her nipples. "Stop that, you shitweasel. It hurts."

I released her breasts and shuffled back.

She glanced down at my rock-hard dick. "So, fuckface, is it soup yet?"

This girl was crazy, but I thoroughly enjoyed her company and genuine demeanor. "Sure, go to town." I helped her to her knees.

Despite my dick's recent whereabouts, she savored it like the most delectable delicacy in the world. For a girl feigning inexperience, she had surprisingly good oral skills and brought me to an orgasm quickly.

She swallowed my load, released my dick, licked her lips, and sighed. "Oh my god, that was amazing. I had no idea a guy's spunk could taste that good." She kissed my shaft. "And it's so beautiful; it's breathtaking."

I rubbed her head. "Do you want me to untie you?"

"Your call. I'm fine either way, and I can tell you're still a bit nervous."

Leaving my boxers and pants at my ankles so as not to interrupt her view, I pulled up a chair and sat down across from the kneeling nude beauty. I felt compelled to ask her, "What are your Karate lessons like?"

"My Sensei has a saying. 'If you're going to dish it out, you better be willing to take it.' I get the crap beat out of me pretty much every single day." She glanced over her shoulder. "Though my butt region usually doesn't get this much attention."

"Sorry about that."

"No, you're not."

I shrugged. "You're right. Whipping your ass was the highlight of my day. Fucking your ass came in a close second."

She shot me the evil eye. "Douche bag."

When I reached forward and twisted the bound girl's nipples again, a shocked chirp morphed into an irritated groan.

"Look," I said, "I'm swamped right now, but I might be able to fit you in on Sundays."

She nodded. "How about I reserve a regular room for us at the Toyohara Love Hotel?"

"Isn't that expensive?"

"My family owns the building."

"And Mikuru?"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her that you visciously butt-fucked me, and afterward whipped my ass."

"Okay," I said. "But that's not what I meant."

"Oh, that? I understand why she's fine with you molesting her now. And I'm pretty stoked that I made it onto your dance card too."

I untied her arms and helped her to her feet.

She ran her fingertips over her cherry-red bottom. "How am I supposed to sit on this, you turdball?"

"How do two porcupines make love?"

A knowing smile creased her lips. "Very carefully."

I pulled my boxers and pants up from my ankles.

"Wait." She bent forward, held my hips, and kissed my dick goodbye. "See you soon." She gave him a cheerful smile and a wave. Her features tightened as she rose. "As for you." She poked my chest again. "Text me Sunday… Boss."

I walked toward the classroom door, then stopped short of it and turned. Tsuruya hadn't moved. She stood with her arms at her sides, her long, opulent hair cascading over her shoulders. But for the angry scowl on her face, she was an image of naked female perfection.

We stared at each other for a few moments. When I took a cautious step forward, she took a similar step toward me.

We ran into each other's arms.

I held her tight and we kissed passionately for several steamy minutes.

"Sunday," she said as we let each other go. "Now get out of here and leave me alone."


	11. Inventory

.

**Chapter Eleven: Inventory**

For a while, my school life stabilized. One day followed the other without much drama. Our daily SOS Brigade meetings came and went without a hitch. Even though Haruhi had sucked me off and ridden me cowgirl-style, you never would have noticed. In her mind, those were unavoidable accidents best to be forgotten.

But did she forget? I wondered. The incidents stuck out in my mind like fireworks in a starry sky. Despite all the sex I was having, my memory wouldn't let go of those two episodes with Haruhi.

Since my penis remained irresistible, I tried my best to dilute the Suzumiyan fireworks' intensity by setting off lots of firecrackers of my own. I expanded my schedule to better serve my dick's four biggest fans.

Every morning before homeroom, I took a leisurely shower with Ruma Stretta in the men's locker room. Normally, the gym locker rooms remained locked until the teacher showed up with his keys for first period, but Ruma had key copies so we had access whenever we wanted. The tattooed sanitation expert excelled at scrubbing my body sparkling clean, particularly my beloved appendage. This schedule change pleased Miss Miyazawa to no end since I was finally coming to class on time.

I also continued my post-lunch dessert dispensing sessions with a certain busty redhead. "Just a second," Mikuru would say after I tapped our secret code on the door. A minute later, the locking mechanism released.

In the past, opening the clubroom door revealed a sweet, conservatively dressed maid slaving away at her tea station. Nowadays, it revealed a beaming naked beauty on her knees, cupping her breasts in anticipation of performing yet another titty-fuck on the most irresistible penis in the world. Each time my cum filled her mouth and overflowed onto her lovely globes, I couldn't get over the fact that Mikuru got as much out of it as I did — hell, maybe more.

Getting her daily fill of cock cream kept Mikuru happy, but it also made Yuki jealous. Not that she would show it. As a human interface, she had a ton of self-control, but at her core, she was still a girl. Unfortunately, between classes, club time, and my responsibilities at home, I only had so much penis-time to spare.

Thanks to her mastery of advanced technologies, I was able to give Yuki more dick-time than my other two weekday girls combined. How did I manage this?

In contrast to the cramped school desks decorating all my standard classes, the expansive wooden drawing table I sat at during my last-period Art class afforded Yuki plenty of room to plant herself and move about. A high-tech butt-plug hologram generator kept her presence under my desk completely hidden, while reading glasses fitted with special polarizing filters granted me a full view of her activities from above.

"Since nobody will be able to see you under there but me, why don't you audit my Art class sans clothing?" I asked her when we formulated our plan. After all, Ruma and Mikuru serviced me in the nude. Though Yuki had a different body type — champagne-glass breasts and the sweetest little heart-shaped ass — she was hot as hell. Why not make it three-for-three? She didn't have a problem with my request and opted for the anally fitted hologram generator instead of the necklace model because it offered additional coitus-enhancing features.

Yuki's oral inspirations led me to produce some of the best artwork I'd ever created. "You're drawing so much better now than last semester," my art teacher Miss Kakumatsu explained. "Your style is borderline erotic."

Little did my teacher know that a ridiculously competent naked nymph had my dick in her mouth when she told me that. In fact, my dick remained in Yuki's talented mouth throughout most of the class, although we did mix things up now and then.

Tilting the desk and drawing from a standing position allowed a bent-over Yuki to back into me so I could do her doggy-style. In an effort to keep things clandestine, her hips did most of the work. But vaginal sex was rare. As Mikuru had informed me, most girls enjoyed simply looking at the thing, so Yuki spent most of the class on her knees cross-eyed with my dick on her tongue.

She generally unzipped me right after I sat, and kept me on the edge of climax till five minutes before the closing bell, at which point she teased my balls with the tip of her tongue as a warning that she was about to drive me over the cliff. Maintaining a straight face during my end-of-class killer climaxes was next to impossible, so I developed the strange habit of massaging my face with both hands to hide my O-expression.

I almost got caught once, when Miss Kakumatsu stood behind me as I gushed into Yuki's mouth. From her vantage point, she totally heard my muffled emanations of pleasure.

"Are you okay, Kyon?" she asked as I groaned.

"You bet I am." I worked to catch my breath. "You know something, Miss Kakumatsu? Making great art can be downright orgasmic."

She shook her head and walked away.

Since Art was the last period of the day, I took my sweet old time getting my stuff together. Yuki and I were always among the last people to leave the room. Walking hand-in-hand to the SOS Brigade club room with the human interface beside me became part of my late-afternoon routine. Though we strolled through semi-busy hallways, nobody noticed the comely nude coed walking beside me.

Our daily treks felt surreal. When I looked forward, my peripheral vision registered empty space, but when I turned my head to the right and looked through the glasses, Yuki appeared in all her naked splendor. When she turned into the ladies' room down the hall from the clubroom to exchange the butt plug for her clothes, it always saddened me.

Getting serviced by three gorgeous schoolgirls, three times per day was a fantasy I wouldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams. Living the dream took its toll on me, though. Thankfully, I had Saturdays to recuperate.

But then Sundays arrived.

Yeah, I know. That's the elephant in the room. What the hell happened with Karate-girl?

I'll be honest. My relationship with Tsuruya messed up my brain like a scrambling fork through egg yolks. If my incidents with Haruhi were fireworks lighting up a starry sky, my meetings with Tsuruya were black holes darkening an empty cave.

In a word, our dynamic was fucked up. (Yes, I know that's two words. See what I mean?)

I had an inkling to this state of affairs when we met for the first time in the Yokohama Love Hotel — in the S&M room. Yes, that was the room she'd reserved for us, and we both felt totally at home there.

Something in our minds had snapped the day of our battle. My memory wouldn't let go of that episode either.

What had I done?

I know that many of you will say, "That's easy, Kyon. You viciously ass-raped that wonderful girl before beating her ass beet red. You're a fucking monster." And I'll grant that you might have a point.

On the other hand, we agreed to play it by ear and she never asked me to stop. Sure, she complained a lot, she hinted at her discomfort, and she called me a never-ending series of ugly names, but she never said, "Untie me, and stop fucking and beating my butt."

"Your irresistible dick made that impossible," you'll counter. "She really didn't have a choice. She was under its spell."

But was she?

She still had the ability to make conscious choices. She could have stopped me at any time. But she was a proud girl who'd been trained to take a beating by her Karate Sensei. If she would have screamed at the top of her lungs, it might have knocked me out of my vengeance trance. Then again, I might have shoved her panties into her mouth and kept on going. I guess we'll never know.

In the end, she enjoyed the hell out of our encounter, as did I. But at what cost?

I'd placed Tsuruya in an impossible situation. Something heinous was being done to her. But she knew that if she complained, the consequences — never seeing my dick again — would be worse, so she willingly took it like a trooper. The intensity of the humiliation mixed explosively with the ferocity of her desires — and her brain fried.

I don't think she was a natural masochist, but that's what I'd turned her into. In the same way, my dick had turned me into a sadistic asshole Boss. The power had fried my brain as well and turned me into a deviant.

So on Sundays, we indulged our psychoses. Imagine a room enclosed by walls lined with restraints, whips, paddles, and gags, and floorspace covered with wedge-horses, X-platforms, stockades, and racks. The bruises I drew on Tsuruya's bound naked body each Sunday didn't always fade by our next meeting. Which was fine with her, because she wore them like a badge of honor.

Our weekend meetings let us vent our pent-up anxieties and frustrations. On weekdays, everything reverted to normal. When we ran into each other in the halls, which turned out to be often because we learned each other's routes, our typical exchanges made bystanders cringe.

Tsuruya would scowl. "Hey Boss, screw any goats today? You sheep-fucking pansy."

"You're going to pay for that, bitch." I mimicked the sound and motion of wielding a whip. "In spades."

"Bring it on, ass wipe."

It was our way of saying, "I love you," and "I love you too" — in the most dysfunctional way you can imagine.

I don't know if Tsuruya and Mikuru ever traded notes about me. For reasons of their own, I'm pretty sure they kept that part of their lives to themselves.

So that was my life, and those were my four regular ladies.

It took Haruhi Suzumiya two entire months to inject herself into this loop. And when she did, she handed me the key to the prison of indescribable sexual bliss that I'd locked myself into.


	12. Constipation

.

**Chapter Twelve: Constipation**

It started in homeroom. "It's so ugly outside," Haruhi said. "Why does it always have to rain?" Her miserable frown complemented the overcast weather.

I considered extolling the benefits of rain, but something told me this wasn't normal cranky Haruhi. So I kept my mouth shut.

As the day wore on, Haruhi made no attempts to hide her annoyance with the world. Her foul attitude polluted everyone's chipper mood like nails on a chalkboard, like rocks in a shoe, like an oil spill in Tokyo bay, like… you get the picture.

When club time rolled around, things didn't change. From the start of the brigade meeting to the end, Haruhi exuded displeasure. Our leader was snappy, bitchy, and mean. Mikuru got the brunt of it.

"This tea is awful. It tastes like swill." A short respite. Then finger-pointing. "Look at those wrinkles. Don't you ever iron your outfits? Button up that blouse."

Koizumi and I got our share, too.

"The clubroom looks like a pigsty. You two need to do your share to keep things spic and span." A growl. "You two are the laziest club members in the world."

Even Yuki got a dig. "Did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?" The bookworm ignored it.

We kept our eyes glued to the clock. When would this meeting end? How soon can we escape this witch's presence?

At five minutes to closing time, Haruhi rose and rested her hands on my shoulders. "Kyon, I need to speak with you after club."

"Is it serious?"

"Just do what you're told."

The bell rang. Mikuru, Yuki, and Koizumi dashed out the door; the breeze created by their wakes disheveled my hair. Haruhi and I had the room to ourselves.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I feel horrible. I think it's something I ate last night. Whatever it was settled in my stomach like wet cement that hardened in my colon. I was hoping things would have cleared by now, but no dice."

"What can I do about that?"

She held up a large oblong pill. "I need you to help me insert this suppository. I can't do it myself, and you're the only other person I could think of that I felt comfortable asking to help me."

"Why me?"

"Because we had sex, albeit accidentally. Still, you're the only other person besides my doctor that's intimately familiar with my plumbing down there." She bit her lip. "And no, I don't want to take a train all the way to her office just to remedy this."

"I don't blame you." I extended my palm.

She dropped the pill into it. Then she fished in her pocket and handed me a tube of lubricant. "You need to grease it up before you insert it."

I nodded. "Where should we do this?"

She patted the table to my right. "This should be fine." She reached under her skirt and pulled off her panties. Then she spread her legs and bent forward until her chest compressed into the tabletop. With her head resting in the pillow of her arms, she breathed deeply and arched her back.

"You seem really tense," I said.

Haruhi groaned. "I'm about to get a deformed ping-pong ball shoved into my asshole."

I looked down at her bum and at the pill. _Lift skirt, insert suppository, lower skirt. Easy peasy. _"Are you ready?"

She wiggled her bottom. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Great." I flipped up the back of her skirt — and took in one of the most amazing views of my life. Haruhi's bum was perfection. The spherical symmetry of her butt cheeks, the way they tapered to her thighs, the contours of her vaginal lips, and the cute little anus that twitched when I stroked it.

"Come on, Kyon. Quit playing around. We don't have all day."

I squeezed some lubricant out of the tube and liberally greased up the pill, my finger, and her butthole. "Relax." I held the tip of the suppository up to her glistening orifice. "Here it comes."

Haruhi took a deep breath and nodded. As I pushed in the pill, her legs and bottom shifted, her fists clenched, and her anus clamped shut. "You're hurting me."

"It hurts because you're fighting the thing. You need to relax."

I tried again with similar results.

She glanced over her shoulder. "I guess I'm not used to things going in there. I usually feel fine when stuff's coming out."

I considered dialing Tsuruya's number so she and Haruhi could have a chat about acclimating to back door deliveries, but thought better of it and tried a different approach. "Focus on the goal. The stuff clogging your colon is hard, and you feel miserable. This pill will soften it and let it come out."

"Sheesh, Kyon. I know what this suppository is supposed to do."

"So relax."

Her eyes bulged as her fists and butt cheeks clenched. "I'm trying."

"Right."

I tried pushing the pill into her one more time. After a mighty struggle fraught with groans and complaints, I got it to the point where her anus closed up around most of it. A tiny bit of the oblong end still stuck out.

"How's that?" I patted her bum, hoping that would placate her.

"It doesn't feel right." She ran her fingertips over the dome extending from the center of her anus. "You need to push the pill all the way in, or it won't be effective." Haruhi slapped the table. "Come on, Kyon. Don't half-ass this."

She chirped when I put my thumb to her butt hole. "Are you sure?"

"I'm a big girl. Do what you need to do."

_Do what I need to do, huh?_

The image of Tsuruya maintaining a similar posture flashed into my mind. "Okay. Here's how this works." I patted the insides of her thighs. "Legs straight, ankles spread."

Haruhi followed my instructions and rested her cheek on the table. "Why all the stupid posing?"

"Stop arguing." I smacked her bum. "Back arched. Butt high."

She groaned but complied.

"Good. Arms to the sides, eyes closed. Now picture someplace relaxing."

She complied and closed her eyes. "I see the beach at sunset."

"Perfect." As she focused on the scene, I gently kneaded her lovely bottom and thighs.

She turned her head and glanced over her shoulder. "Is that necessary?"

"Don't talk. Breathe."

After expelling a defeated groan, she rested her cheek on the table and closed her eyes. Eventually, her breathing deepened, and her clenched fists opened.

_That_ _'s it. We're getting close._

Gradually, her tense thighs and bum cheeks softened in my hands.

_Almost there._

When her anus twitched, I dropped my pants. As you might have guessed, standing in the presence of one of the world's nicest asses had evoked a physiological reaction. I performed the rest of the procedure on auto-pilot.

After crossing Haruhi's arms behind her back, I clamped her wrists together with my left hand and moved my shaft into position with my right.

"What the hell?" Sensing the telephone pole seeking admittance into her anus, Haruhi instinctively tried to rise.

I pushed her down — "No you don't." — thrust my hips forward, and rammed my shaft into her ass.

"EEEEEEP!" Haruhi's eyes bulged.

Impersonating a human pile driver, I drove the pill deeper and deeper into Haruhi with each stroke. "I'm getting that sucker in there," I said. "Way, way in."

WHAP - WHAP - WHAP

Haruhi squealed, "Oh, my god."

"Hang in there." I smacked her bottom. "We're making excellent progress."

She returned a wince and a nod.

Gradually, Haruhi's shock wore off, and her hips moved in sync with mine. Her fists unclenched, and her squeals turned into moans. I grabbed her left wrist with my left hand and her right wrist with my right hand, twisted her arms straight, and used the extra leverage to fuck her even deeper. The table rocked beneath us.

When I came inside of her, Haruhi's body shuddered. Though her anal muscles protested against its presence, my rigid injector would not be deterred. A copious stream of semen drove the pill even deeper into her belly, like water from a fire hose driving a basketball down the road.

Haruhi's mouth dropped open to form a silent scream as her insides spasmed and churned. Eventually, the spasms died down, and her body relaxed like a puddle on the table. When I eased my dick out of my prone leader, cum spurted from her anus onto the floor.

"I can't believe you just butt-fucked me," she said, still breathing heavily. "I can't believe you pushed that suppository up my ass with your dick."

I released her wrists, stepped back, and put myself away. With her arms draped at her sides, her breathing steadying, and semen dripping from her asshole, Haruhi lay motionless.

Suddenly, a loud gurgling noise emanated from her belly.

"Oh, shit," she said. "It's coming."

_Literally._

She pushed herself off the table and dashed out the door.

###

For the next half-hour, I felt like a death row inmate who'd just eaten his last meal. Buttfucking Haruhi hadn't been part of the plan, and I feared I wouldn't like the consequences.

To my surprise, she returned to the clubroom with a pleasant smile. "Thanks, Kyon." She rubbed her bum. "I feel a whole lot better."

"You're not angry?"

"I felt like punching your lights out thirty minutes ago for fucking me — again — without permission… in the ass no less. But I had some time to think about it as my lower intestine cleared."

"And?"

She shrugged. "It couldn't be helped. Your instincts were right. I told you to do what you needed to do, and you used the best tool for the job. It's not like I haven't experienced your penis before. And I sure as hell can't argue with the results." She snatched her panties off the table and pulled them on. "If I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing. Don't misunderstand me. Under normal circumstances, having anal sex with subordinates is unacceptable. But a good leader will make an allowance for a special case." She smoothed her skirt over her bottom. "As usual, don't go thinking this event had any special meaning, because it didn't."

"As usual," I said.

She tossed me the clubroom key and pointed to the floor. "Clean up this mess and give me the key tomorrow in homeroom." She pinched her nose. "And please wash your thing as soon as possible."

She opened the door and was about to step into the hallway when the epiphany hit.

"Haruhi," I shouted. "Wait."

She turned. "What?"

Haruhi had handed me two keys, not one. In addition to the silver piece of metal I gripped in my hand, she'd given me the key out of my prison. All I had to do was lower my zipper, pull out my penis, and demand she "clean me up."

There was no way in the world that Haruhi would consider placing the stinky shaft that had just reamed her ass into her mouth. No way. Forcing the issue would change her perception of my dick. By definition, she would no longer find it irresistible, and the universe would follow suit.

I hooked my fingers in my pants pockets and tapped my legs. "Regarding the subject of cleaning up."

"Yes?" She put her hand on her hip. "I don't have all day."

My hands twitched. "Regarding the cleanup."

"Yeah, you said that already."

"Would you… would you… would you…"

"Would I _what?__"_

_Would you please suck me off?_

The words echoed in my brain, but I couldn't get my lips to enunciate them. And I couldn't get my hands to move to my zipper. Something at the depths of my being wouldn't allow me to free myself from the prison of incomparable sexual bliss I'd grown accustomed to.

"Would you… um… would you mind if I bought us a mop?"

She squinted. "From club funds?"

"Uh-huh."

Haruhi paused and gave me a look I couldn't decipher.

"Good night, Kyon."

She closed the door.


	13. Guilt

.

**Chapter Thirteen: Guilt**

Once again, I entertained the distant hope that I might be rid of the curse. My reasoning — this time — went like this:

Haruhi had three major orifices, and my magical shaft had violated each and every one of them. Now that my penis had penetrated her every way it could — free of romantic entanglements — she'd reached her goal.

Ruma dashed my hopes the next morning. She nearly ran me over when she joined me in the shower. Her running hug knocked me into the wall.

"I missed him so much." Her hug slid down my body as she dropped to her knees. She playfully kissed my balls.

_So much for being rid of this curse. _

Ruma sampled a mouthful of meat. "He tastes… different." The kneeling beauty pulled off and sniffed. "He smells different too."

I thought I'd scrubbed my dick as clean as I could after buttfucking Haruhi, but part of her essence remained.

"Good or bad?"

"Neither. Just different. It's hard to describe."

_Where have I heard that before?_

She reached up to the ledge for a pink squirt bottle. "I bet he'll taste perfect with the addition of some strawberry-flavored soap." She resumed the work of cleaning me.

"Hey Ruma, aside from the taste and odor, does my dick seem any different to you?"

"Nope. He's wonderful… as usual." She kissed his head. "In fact, he's slightly more wonderful than before." She sucked him into her mouth.

I intertwined my fingers behind my neck, closed my eyes, and sighed.

###

Homeroom passed without much conversation, and the few words I did exchange with Haruhi didn't make much sense.

"I've been thinking about what you asked me yesterday, Kyon," she said after I handed her the key, "and I guess I'm okay with it."

"Okay, with what?"

"I'm okay with you getting us a mop."

She spent the rest of the period looking out the window, brushing off her skirt, and crossing and uncrossing her legs.

###

Lunch period found my dick pressed between Mikuru's supple breasts. As the redhead's perfect globes enveloped, stroked, and squeezed me toward Nirvana, a thought crossed my mind.

_Does Haruhi want to titty-fuck me too? _

I tried imagining the universe somehow duplicating this scene with a naked brunette on her knees — devoid of any romantic entanglements, of course.

_Suppose she preferred getting me off with her feet or her armpit? Or maybe her hair? _

The thought of Haruhi looping strands of her once-long mane around my shaft intrigued me. Mikuru giggled when he twitched.

_Why did she have to cut it?_

Seconds later, the buxom beauty looked up at me with smiling chipmunk cheeks and cum-stained breasts. "Thank you, Kyon. That was wonderful, as always."

"As always?"

"Actually, it was a little more wonderful than before. How did you manage that?"

I shrugged. "Beats me."

_What the hell am I doing here?_

###

If someone had followed me after Art class, they would have thought I was crazy — or talking to a ghost. Hidden behind her holographic cloak, the exceedingly cute coed walking beside me held my hand.

I pushed the special polarizing glasses up my nose and turned my head to view her. "You know what, Nagato? I don't think I'll ever be rid of this curse."

Yuki squeezed my hand. I imagined it was her way of saying, _"Good."_

"Did you ever think you'd end up walking the halls of North High barefoot after spending an hour sucking on my dick? Five times per week?"

She glanced up at me. "No. But I don't mind."

I opened a door, and we stepped into a stairwell. At the landing halfway to the second floor, I stopped, put my hands on Yuki's smooth bare hips, and turned her toward me.

"Yuki, I'm not sure I like what I'm doing to you. I think this needs to stop. I mean… look at you."

She met my eyes but didn't speak.

"You're totally nude with a belly full of my cum, and a hologram generator stuck in your asshole."

"Does that disappoint you?"

"Hell, no." I cupped her breasts. "You've never looked more beautiful."

Yuki considered my comment. Then she took a step forward and pulled me into her arms. As she held me, her cheek resting on my chest, her breasts pressed into my belly, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

We stood there for several minutes.

Until I felt better.

###

The employees of the Toyohara Love Hotel knew me by name. Actually, they knew me by a name that wasn't legally mine.

"How are you doing today, Mr. Smith?" Kobi, the guy at the front desk, asked.

"You can call me John." I took the key card from his hand.

"Miss Jones is waiting for you."

I bowed. "Thank you." Tsuruya always got here early.

"Is there anything we can do to improve the quality of your stay?" Kobi always asked me this, and I usually told him I'd call room service, but I never did.

Today, I had a request. "Can you get me one of those bottles of fragrant massaging oil? Oh, and a bouquet of flowers?"

"Will roses suffice?"

"Sure. But make sure to scrape off the thorns."

"Expect someone in fifteen minutes."

"Thanks."

Fifteen minutes later, Tsuruya lay on her belly nude, her hair tied in a bun atop her head. I'd strapped her to one of her favorite torture devices, the rack. Her arms were spread at shoulder width and chains tethered her wrists to a roller. Her ankles were similarly spread and tethered to a roller on the other side of the narrow wooden bench. Each turn of a crank turned the rollers a bit, pulling her wrists and ankles farther apart.

I rested my hand on her firm bare bottom. "You can handle a couple more clicks."

"Dickwad."

I turned the crank twice.

"Oh, shit," she gasped. "You are such a lowlife craphole."

"What did you say to me?" WHACK - WHACK - WHACK. I smacked her butt with a wooden paddle.

"EEEEEEP!" She expelled a wide-eyed shriek. Moments later, tears rolled down her cheeks. "You heard me," she sobbed, "you numbnut shithead."

Someone knocked on the door. "Don't go anywhere," I said. "I'll be right back." As if she had an option.

I returned with a bouquet of flowers and a small glass bottle of massaging oil. I pulled a rose out of the bunch and held it to her nose.

She tilted her head and sniffed. "Smells nice."

"I got these for you."

When she furrowed her brow, I pulled out three stems and verified they were clean. Then I bunched them together and rubbed some oil on the stems. Tsuruya squealed when I inserted the stems into her ass.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you make a beautiful vase?"

"No. This is a first."

I dropped some oil on her back and rubbed it into her shoulders. Tsuruya moaned as her muscles relaxed. I worked my way down her body, squeezing the tension out of back, bottom, and legs.

"What's the punch line, dirtbag?"

"Are you worried I put acid on your body or something?"

"No. I recognize this oil. It's my favorite blend and expensive as hell."

"So what's the problem?"

She fluttered her fingers. "This isn't hurting me. In fact, it feels really nice. Even the flower stems you inserted into my asshole feel kind of pleasant, especially compared to what you usually shove in there."

"I'm thinking of being nicer to you."

Tsuruya turned her head, rested her cheek on the wooden bench, and considered my words. "If you make me fall in love with you — and I'm not saying that's a bad thing — but if you do that, I'm going to need more attention from you than one time per week."

"Don't you love me already?"

"You know what I mean."

"Do you enjoy being tortured like this?"

Tsuruya frowned. "These rack sessions are really good for my back. Sure, it hurts like a motherfucker when you're stretching me, but it has its benefits."

"Bullshit."

"Way. A couple of years ago, I hurt my back landing wrong after doing a flying Karate kick. Doctors examined me, they took x-rays, I did physical therapy, but it still hurt. Thanks to you, the pain is gone."

I rubbed her glistening thighs. "What about all the welts and bruises?"

Tsuruya clenched her fists and groaned. "Seriously, Boss, will you stop it with the soul searching and fuck my ass already? ... You mangy pile of dog shit."

"There's flowers in there."

"I'll hold them with my teeth."

I pulled the stems out of her butt and held them to her mouth.

"Wait. Let me look at them first."

"Sure." I held the roses out by her shackled wrists.

She craned her neck up to see them. "They're really pretty, Kyon. And thanks for the oil, too. That was very thoughtful." She opened wide.

I put the stems between her teeth, and she clamped down on them. I pulled off my pants, hopped onto the bench, and brutally reamed her ass.

###

I didn't go home after leaving the Toyohara Love Hotel. And, no, I didn't share a cup of tea with Miss Tsuruya afterward. The end of our sessions always left her an exhausted, battered, blubbering mess who flinched if I raised an index finger to her.

The sessions left me equally exhausted — and dark. But we'd both be fully recharged by the end of the week for another round of this madness.

I walked to the park and sat on my favorite bench. As people flowed past — couples, dog walkers, bikers, and runners — I meditated on the state of things. Wasn't it Einstein who said a body in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by an outside force?

I didn't have the strength or willpower to break myself out of my current trajectory. My dick's power intoxicated me, and the sex just felt too damn good. I felt bad for the girls that I was using, but they didn't seem to mind. Poor Tsuruya got more out of our meetings than any of them.

Were my actions really that wrong? Was my affliction really that bad?

On the surface, my dick seemed to add a ridiculous amount of joy to each girl's existence. But heroin did the same thing for drug addicts, and that never ended well.

The guilt was driving me batty. If only the universe would give me a sign. Good or bad. Yay or Nay.

Three days later, the sign arrived.


	14. Rescue

.

**Chapter Fourteen: Rescue**

We were jogging laps around the track next to the athletic fields during PE class when classmate and good buddy Taniguchi pointed at the roof of the admin building. I'd been up there hundreds of times with members of the SOS Brigade for various reasons so I almost expected him to point out Haruhi.

This time, however, a different girl explored the area. We watched as she climbed up a metal side ladder to get to the top of the utility room structure adjacent to the stairwell.

"What do you think she's up to?" Taniguchi said.

"I don't know," I said, "but if she's not careful, she's going to hurt herself."

"That's Angie Nigahara," Kunikida said. "She always wears a green ribbon in her hair."

"She's a real cutie," Taniguchi said. "But she's not very bright. I wonder if she knows what she's doing."

She got to the top of the square utility structure and took a run toward the edge. At the last second, she skidded to a stop.

"Holy shit," Kunikida said. "I think she's working up the courage to jump."

My focal point swung from the top of the structure to the ground. "She's five stories up and there's nothing below her but pavement. If she jumps from that height, she's definitely going to kill herself."

Soon, more of my classmates got wind of what was happening. One by one, the students in my PE class stopped their activities and focused their attention on the distant roof.

Angie sauntered back and forth, her body slumped over, her cries barely audible from where we stood.

I dashed to the admin building. Once inside, I sprinted up the back stairs. Huffing and puffing, I made it to the roof access grill of the top floor auxiliary stairwell landing — a secret entrance Haruhi had found during her many explorations of the school grounds, and one she'd later revealed to the rest of her brigade.

It had taken me a couple of minutes to get to the top floor. I hoped I wasn't too late. I pulled down the folding metal ladder, shimmied through the access square, and stepped out onto the roof. Thankfully, Angie hadn't jumped yet.

As I trotted toward the utility building, I noticed a school chair wedged between the door and a guard rail, keeping the main access door tightly shut. Some pounding clued me in to the others trying to gain access to the roof.

It looked like the girl was about to make another run for it.

"Hey, Angie," I shouted.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, you idiot? I'm going to kill myself. If you take one step closer, I'll dive. Don't even think about climbing up those steps." She pointed to the side ladder.

I held up my palms. "You've been up here for a while, so you're not totally sure you want to kill yourself yet. Am I correct?"

"Oh, I'm sure about this, all right. I've got absolutely nothing to live for."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just got the results of my college entrance examinations." She put her face in her hands. "I failed horribly."

"That's just a stupid test. It's no reason to go and kill yourself."

"That's easy for you to say. How did you do on _your_ exam?"

"To be honest, I did okay. Not the best, but it'll be good enough to get me into the school I want."

Angie started bawling. "I hate people like you. People who have got it made. Passing your tests, hanging out with your buddies, and snuggling up with your beautiful girlfriend… even if she is a little weird."

"Haruhi Suzumiya is not my girlfriend."

"Oh, bullshit. Everybody knows you two are a pair."

_Everybody but me. _I shook my head.

She continued, "I've got nothing to live for. My life is ruined. There's no reason to go on." She stepped up to the edge and looked down. I got the impression she might jump this time.

"Wait." I waved my hand. "Let me share something with you before you jump. Please give me that chance."

She turned to me with tear-streaked cheeks. "What?"

"I want to make you an offer."

She peeked over the edge, then back at me. "Go on."

"If you come down here, I'll let you suck my dick."

"What?" She looked at me in disbelief. "I haven't even kissed a boy yet, and you're offering to let me suck your stupid penis? You sick, twisted pervert."

"Haven't you ever wondered what they look like in person?" I moved my hands toward my zipper and lowered it as I walked.

She didn't reply but remained mesmerized, her eyes following me as I performed my silly striptease.

I stopped when the utility room stood between me and the rest of campus, blocking the view of the voyeurs below. People were still pounding on the roof entrance door but not getting in.

I whipped out my manhood.

Angie's demeanor instantly changed. Her body relaxed, and her eyes widened. "Oh, wow." She moved toward me. "Is that for real?"

I put my hands on my hips and rocked from side to side, letting my manhood swing. "It certainly is."

She bent forward and looked down. "Your penis is so beautiful. I've seen drawings in health class and stuff, but I never knew real ones were so amazing."

"I'll let you suck it if you come down from there."

"For real?"

"That depends." I tried lightening up the mood. "Have you brushed your teeth?"

She nodded. "I brush them twice a day."

I waved her down. "Go to town then."

Angie scampered down the steps, ran around the utility building, and crouched before me. With a wide happy grin, she took hold of my penis and looked up. "I always wondered why a girl as pretty as Haruhi Suzumiya would be interested in someone as conventional as you. This answers everything."

Before I could protest, she sucked my dick into her mouth and gazed up at me with content, hopeful eyes. "I hope I'm doing this okay," she said, her words garbled around my penis.

I patted her head. "I've never had better."

She giggled. "I know that's a lie." She continued sucking me off.

It struck me as odd, as I stood there on the roof with my fingers intertwined behind my neck, that despite all the sex I'd been getting from my harem, this girl thought she was competing with the oral expertise of Haruhi Suzumiya.

It struck me as even odder that Angie had nailed it. In fact, all of my sexual experiences since getting blown by my dutiful brigade leader on that fateful day came up short. When oral sex escalated to regular sex with Ruma, Haruhi eventually stepped in and said, _I'll show you how this works._ When regular sex escalated to anal sex with Tsuruya, once again, Haruhi stepped up and bent over. _I'll show you how that's done as well._

As much as I enjoyed my daily trysts with Ruma, Mikuru, and Yuki, and my weekend deviations with Tsuruya, none of their efforts compared.

Then it hit me — Haruhi's three orifices were as magical as my penis.

This led to another inescapable truth. It hadn't been Haruhi's faulty reasoning that made my dick irresistible. Penetrating the glorious orifices of the goddess of this universe made it so. This also explained why each subsequent penetration of a Haruhi-hole made my dick more wonderful.

Despite her inexperience, Angie turned out to be a natural. It didn't take long before I filled her mouth with cream, and though I enjoyed the hell out of her blowjob, it wasn't Suzumiyan.

"Thank you." Angie wiped her mouth on her sleeve and swallowed. "I had no idea anything on earth could taste that good. Thanks for showing me there's something to live for."

As she rose to her feet, I put myself away. When Angie stepped forward and hugged me, I hugged her back.

"I know you're kind of taken," she said, "but do you think Miss Suzumiya would mind if I sucked you off now and then after I get out of all the trouble I'm going to be in?"

"I suppose I could ask her."


	15. Reexamination

.

**Chapter Fifteen: Reexamination**

The incident on the roof made me reconsider my "curse."

Maybe the universe had given me an irresistible appendage for a reason — to save a life. Thanks to my dick's overwhelming charisma, I'd easily convinced an irrational girl who'd blown a test to blow me as well — instead of ending her life. The incident taught me that no matter how depressed I got about the state of my existence, no matter how guilty I felt about sexually violating the hypnotized beauties in my harem, no matter how badly I abused the power bestowed on me, in the final analysis, my dick's magical qualities if utilized properly, were a force for good.

Word of my talking Angie down from the roof circulated quickly around the school, making me a celebrity. To her credit, Angie kept mum about the blowjob part. The fact that I made all future dick-sucking sessions contingent on her maintaining silence about the matter may have helped.

Fortunately, Angie got involuntarily detained at a mental health facility and would be spending the next two weeks institutionalized. Though I had no idea how I was going to schedule her after her release, I now had fourteen days to figure it out.

Haruhi remained uncharacteristically quiet throughout all of "Rescue Week." During club hours, she spent most of her time behind her commander's desk, staring at the computer screen, surfing the Internet, and sighing.

The one time she talked to me occurred the morning after I'd saved Angie. "What happened there?" she asked during homeroom.

Haruhi was pleased to learn that I managed to get to the distraught girl quickly by using the secret roof access portal Haruhi had shown me. She also had no problem believing I'd used my exceptional powers of persuasion to talk Angie out of jumping.

"You can be a very persuasive guy when you want to be," she told me. "Very persuasive."

And that was the extent of our conversation that week. Since servicing my harem daily kept my mind occupied, the lack of club activity worked for me. My busy schedule also kept me from noticing the 800-pound gorilla now residing in the clubroom and masquerading as a five-pound mop.

That's right. Over the weekend, I purchased a mop, just as Haruhi and I had agreed. I set it in the back corner to the right of the door. As it sat dry in a gray bucket, its clean white strands draping over the bucket's edge, its presence troubled Haruhi Suzumiya's psyche. Each glance at the floor-cleaning-apparatus resting peacefully in the corner of the room elicited a sigh from our brigade leader.

The mop didn't do a damn thing for me. I'd blurted out the words, "Would you mind if I got us a mop?" as a lark to fill in the empty space created by my inability to say, "Would you please suck me off?" After placing it in the corner, I forgot it existed.

I would soon learn, however, the mop had a very special meaning to Haruhi Suzumiya.


	16. Projection

.

**Chapter Sixteen: Projection**

Once again, I found myself sitting on my favorite bench at my favorite park. It was Saturday morning, six days since I'd turned Tsuruya into a shimmering flower pot.

An early morning text from Haruhi Suzumiya brought me here: _"Meet me at the park at 10:00 AM, please. Haruhi."_

The text threw me for a loop for several reasons.

First of all, I'd been getting my Saturdays off pretty regularly lately. Since blowing me, Haruhi rarely scheduled weekend brigade events — not that I inferred a connection.

Second, the text came from Haruhi, and she'd signed it with her name. Haruhi never texted me. She always called. And usually, when the SOS Brigade had something going on, she gave me lots of notice.

Thirdly, she said "please." Our brigade leader never says please. The real Haruhi says, "Meet me at the park," and she leaves the last two words of the command implied: "Or else."

Though I verified the text message came from her phone number, I feared the real Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't coming to meet me. I know how easy it is to spoof a phone number nowadays.

Then again, who would bother? And who else but an SOS Brigade member would know "the park" in question sat across from the train station?

By 9:30 AM my nerves jangled. Then, at 9:45, a girl very much resembling the genuine Haruhi Suzumiya showed up. She looked stunning as she approached in her white sundress and sandals. On her shoulder, she balanced the mop like a rifle, its head of white strands bouncing behind her as she strolled.

"Hello, Kyon." She took a seat beside me and leaned the mop against the side of the bench. "It's a wonderful day, isn't it?"

I looked at the blue sky and the sun filtering through the tree branches. "I suppose it is." I glanced at the mop. Though I wanted to ask her about the third party joining us, something told me to hold off. "Why did you want to meet here?" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me to stay after club like you usually do?"

"Because I'm the leader of the SOS Brigade and, as such, I have to maintain a certain set of standards."

Her answer seemed a bit of a non-sequitur. _So what if you__'re the SOS Brigade leader? _But I knew Haruhi didn't like to waste words, so I humored her. "You're always the leader of the SOS Brigade, aren't you?"

"I am, and I'm not. It's a choice I get to make."

Once again, her reply made no sense. I remained still so she could explain herself.

She tugged on the hem of her hip-hugging dress. "At the moment, there's nothing about me that indicates any affiliation to North High. I'm not on North High school property, and I'm not wearing a North High uniform."

"In other words," I said, catching on, "you're not part of a North-High-sanctioned club. This is not an SOS-Brigade-related event."

She nodded. "That is correct. For the purpose of this meeting, we are not SOS Brigade members."

"Why?"

"So we can talk about what we need to talk about."

"Which is…?"

"This thing, of course." She grabbed the mop handle. "We're here to talk about this mop."

My mouth dropped open. "What?"

"Look, Kyon. When you suggested getting a mop the other day—"

"The day I—"

"Yes." Haruhi cut me off. "The day you so kindly helped me with my constipation issue."

"I was glad to help."

Her cheeks reddened. "I bet you were."

"Are you plugged up again?"

"No, I'm not. Shut up and stop trying to veer me off-topic."

"Sorry. Okay, we were talking about mops."

She took a deep breath. "When you asked me for a mop, it kind of shocked me."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't think it was proper. I've told you many times about how I feel about that kind of thing."

_You did? _I searched my memory. The only mop-related feelings she ever expressed to me revealed her dislike of cleaning up our messes. But I could tell she had something else in mind, so I played dumb. "Huh?"

"Don't play the idiot here, Kyon. Though I must admit, it comes to you so naturally. Despite what we've been through, it wasn't right for you to come right out and ask if we could get a mop. At the time, I thought you were way too forward."

I had no idea what Haruhi was talking about. As I mentioned before, I came up with a mop as a filler line to replace what I couldn't work up the courage to say. But I didn't want to seem like a total idiot, so I continued playing along.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean for it to come across that way."

"Well, it did." Haruhi sighed. "I mean… you could have asked me for a package of handkerchiefs, or a roll of paper towels. Even a box of Kleenex _might_ have been acceptable. But a full-on mop?" Haruhi shook her head. "I'm sorry, but it kind of floored me."

I still didn't get it, but I continued playing along. "Did it really?"

"Don't pretend you didn't think it would." She rested her hands in her lap and turned away. "But afterward, I thought about it, and I realized you're a healthy young man. You've got needs. I bet that sometimes you don't know what to do with yourself."

_Knowing what to do with myself hasn__'t been much of a problem lately. Finding the time to do it, on the other hand…_

Suddenly, an ancient memory smacked me between the eyes. I'd heard this rant before, long ago, when Haruhi and I were discussing boyfriends in homeroom.

_"I'm a healthy young woman," _Haruhi had told me. _"I've got needs. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm not stupid enough to get stuck with all that grief just because of some momentary urge to get all mushy. Besides, if I went out and started boy hunting, what's going to happen to the SOS Brigade?"_

Haruhi Suzumiya was projecting — and she'd projected her own emotions, needs, and desires onto me. She'd run into a quandary. Her first loyalty was to the SOS Brigade, but emotional and biological needs tugged her in another direction.

Where was she going with this? I let out more fishing line. "Was my asking for a mop _really_ too much?"

Haruhi's lips drew into a thin line, she bent forward and glared. "The volume of messes we'd have to make that would require a mop this big…" She patted the cotton head.

"So, you got upset with me the day I butt-fucked you."

She nodded. "That's right. Not because you butt-fucked me, obviously. That part was fine."

"We made a healthy mess," I interjected.

"We did." She shook her finger. "Though we made that mess purely by accident. I got flustered because I wasn't sure I felt comfortable making more of those kinds of messes with you in the future."

"Planned messes."

"I guess you could call them that."

"But the next day in homeroom, you said I could get the mop."

"Yes. After giving it some thought and considering your needs, I decided you could buy one from club funds."

_After considering your own needs, _I felt like correcting her. But that would have been dumb. Haruhi was obviously struggling with this.

"The SOS Brigade means a lot to you," I said.

"Yes, it does. And SOS Brigade leadership comes with a lot of responsibility. A good leader has to maintain certain standards. We're a serious organization, not some silly social club that delves into mindless mushiness every time a heater gets repaired or a bottle of Kahlua cream cracks."

Remembering those incidents brought a smile to my face. "But we've got this mop." I motioned to the third party in our conversation.

Haruhi sighed the same sigh she'd sighed so often that week. "Your request for a mop made it clear to me that you're a healthy young guy with needs. And three times now, fate has placed me in the role of allaying those needs."

_Three times, fate has managed to satisfy your curiosity as well, _I didn't add.

She continued. "Three times now, you've injected healthy quantities of semen into my system." She rubbed her stomach. "You've filled my belly, my womb, and my colon. And although we both agree that those three incidents couldn't be helped, I'm certain you noticed a trend."

"You noticed it too."

"That's why we're here. Not too many people realize this simple fact about our universe: when you focus your desires on something long enough and with enough intensity, it's bound to appear in your real life."

I nearly fell off the bench. _That__'s how _your_ universe works, Haruhi. Not the one inhabited by us mere mortals. _"So you're saying _my _focus on having sex with you, both consciously and subconsciously, brought us to this impasse."

Haruhi frowned. "Of course, it did. And your timing sucks."

"I don't understand."

"Look, Kyon. I'm flattered that I loom that large in your consciousness, but we're riding the edge of what's proper and what's improper, and it has to stop. A good leader has to draw the line and say, 'No more.'"

"So, as the leader of the SOS Brigade, you're drawing the line."

"I have no choice."

"Does this mean I need to get rid of this mop?"

"No." Haruhi crossed her arms over her chest. "But it can't stay in the SOS Brigade clubroom."

"Because you're a good leader."

She nodded. "That's right. I would never lower my standards to that level."

The girl had dumped a ton of bricks on me, but I managed to maintain control. "So, just to clarify, when you said we could get a mop, you made a mistake."

"No. There was no mistake."

"But you've got to maintain your standing as a good leader, right?"

"Yes, I do." She stuck her index finger into my chest. "But _you_ don't have that limitation."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Different clubs have different rules. For the sake of argument, let's say you formed a club."

"The Mop Club," I offered.

"That's fine. Let's say you formed the Mop Club. You're the president, and you recruited me to be your number-one member."

"You'd join a club like that?"

Haruhi nodded. "I believe a club like that has the potential to maintain my interest."

"Okay, then." I grabbed the mop, laid its shaft on our laps, and stroked its fluffy cotton-stranded end like it was the head of a puppy. "The Mop Club is now in session." For some silly reason, we simultaneously grabbed the mop handle when I said that. I turned to her. "Great. So what exactly will this Mop Club do?"

"You're the president, so you get to determine all the Mop Club's activities."

"But I'm not bound by the same constraints you are, right?"

She nodded. "And I freely joined this club with full knowledge of that fact."

I thought about her response for a moment. Then my jaw dropped open when I realized what Haruhi had done. It took me almost a minute to get my bearings.

She sat there quietly and waited.

I asked, "Are you implying that I could schedule club activities whose main purpose was the making of mop-worthy messes?"

After a pause, Haruhi answered. "Don't look at me. It's up to you to decide what the club activities are."

"Could we—?"

Haruhi stuck her palm in my face. "Stop asking me so many stupid questions, Kyon." She grabbed the mop handle and shook it. "We've formed the Mop Club, and you're the president. You get to decide what we do. I'm just a minion."

"When will you be available for Mop Club activities?" I asked.

She frowned. "I suppose that's a fair question. In order of priority, there's school time, SOS Brigade time, and Mop Club time."

"So," I said, "I'm free to schedule Mop Club activities when they don't conflict with those other activities."

"That's how it works."

"What if you quit the Mop Club?"

She tilted her head and squinted. "Could you imagine quitting the SOS Brigade?"

"No," I replied honestly. "I don't think I could."

"Okay, then. No more stupid questions because they're getting really tiring."

I stood, tossed the mop handle over my shoulder, and offered her my hand.

She took it and let me pull her up. "What's our destination, Mr. President?"

_Mr. President, huh? _I liked the sound of that.

"Well, Number One Minion..." My counter elicited a smile. "We're going to a cozy little temporary-lodging establishment located in the heart of the city. Then, for the Mop Club's first official activity, we're going to make the mother of all mop-worthy messes."

Haruhi took my arm. "Lead the way."


	17. Domination

.

**Chapter Seventeen: Domination**

After creating the Mop Club at the park bench, and getting through the business portion of our inaugural meeting, Haruhi and I moved the action to the Toyohara Love Hotel. As she waited patiently in the lobby, I took care of business at the front desk.

"Pleased to see you, Mr. Smith," Kobi said when I approached. "Miss Jones has not yet arrived."

"She's not coming," I replied. "Today, Miss Miller will be joining me." I motioned toward the gorgeous brunette sitting in the lobby.

Kobi's raised eyebrow didn't surprise me. "Here you are." Neither did his immediate presentation of a room key.

As a special friend of the building's owner, I'd essentially been given carte blanche to do whatever I wanted within the walls of the establishment. One of the nicer features of my fucked-up relationship with Tsuruya was that other women didn't threaten her. She knew our "unique" arrangement held a special place in my heart, and on the back what she liked to call my dance card.

"Would it be possible to get a different room?" I asked.

"The Honeymoon Suite?" Kobi offered, reading my mind.

"Perfect."

The Honeymoon Suite, a spacious windowed corner unit boasting a hot tub, sauna, and a large circular bed, did indeed prove to be the perfect learning environment for Haruhi and me.

I read an article a few years ago about the type of men that sought the services of a dominatrix. You might think strong, dominating women would attract meek, wimpy men. Surprisingly, these ladies more often than not tended to draw individuals in leadership roles; CEO's, business leaders, managers, and military commanders. Being in charge all the time got tiring and exacted certain psychic costs. Turns out some of these guys liked to be told what to do now and then.

I surmised this as the reason Haruhi took to her minion role as a fish took to water. Let's be honest. The girl exuded an aura of tension when she ruled the SOS Brigade. She approached most every task seriously and rarely smiled.

As the official first member of the Mop Club, however, she thrived in ways I couldn't have imagined, exuding an aura of peace and joy, and smiling continually. Alternately, I learned that I liked being in charge. I had the time of my life dominating the girl, but in a loving way.

Our roles were reversed, so I had a good example to imitate, having served under the SOS Brigade general's leadership for so long. My weekly experiences torturing Tsuruya helped a good bit as well. Not to imply that Haruhi's nature approached Tsuruya's level of masochism — it wasn't even close — but Haruhi thoroughly enjoyed being dominated.

The first Mop Club meeting lasted from the morning well into the evening. As the mop stood guard in the corner of the room, we made the mother of all messes. Haruhi, a young woman with needs, was insatiable. Fortunately, my magic dick was up to the challenge and I never tired. I fucked her six ways from Sunday in every way I could think of.

I'm sure Haruhi could have suggested some additional ways she'd like to get fucked, but she refused to relinquish her role as the minion. She didn't make any suggestions, didn't ask any questions, and didn't offer any complaints. Instead, she compliantly followed her President's lead.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I didn't get any feedback. Haruhi used the currency of moans, smiles, laughs, and giggles to let me know exactly how much she enjoyed each and every thing I did to her.

Taking cues from our three previous sexual encounters, and the experiences I'd gained from my shepherding my harem, I shaped a set of boundaries amenable to my club's number one member. Let me cite some examples.

Unlike Tsuruya who loved being pushed beyond her limits on the torture machines, Haruhi was Tsuruya-Light. She enjoyed getting her bare bottom spanked, and also got off on some light bondage. When Haruhi instinctively grabbed her hands behind her back moments before I planned to violate her anally, I'd unearthed a gem. Haruhi loved having her hands tied behind her back before getting butt-fucked because it reminded her of the first time we performed that act.

In similar ways, I think she got a sense of what I liked. For example, although she excelled at titty-fucking, and her breasts were more than adequate to the task, she didn't have Mikuru's endowments. She was, however, able to match and exceed Ruma's slutful energy when it came to sucking my dick, so she focused on that.

Like Yuki, Haruhi reveled in her nudity. During our lunch and dinner breaks, while I wore one of the white robes provided by the hotel, she preferred to remain unclothed. Later on, when I called room service for a collar, Kobi, as usual, came through like a champ. Haruhi knelt proudly with a wide happy grin when I fastened it around her neck.

She played with the elegant jeweled adornment continually and was thrilled when I informed her this would be her official minion uniform going forward. The necklace graced her throat while we made messes in the hot tub, the sauna, and on the bed.

We parted ways later that evening, satisfied and exhausted. After a short walk through town, we stood on the platform at the train station, waiting for our rides home.

Haruhi wore her white sundress, sandals, and collar. Obeying my command, she carried her bra and panties in the plastic bag at her side.

The mop lay at our feet, clean and unsoiled, a mostly symbolic device, maybe even a mascot. I felt no guilt since the Toyohara Love Hotel staff was far more adept at cleaning up messes than we were.

After a deep satisfying kiss while embraced in each other's arms, Haruhi, with a sparkle in her eye, asked me one last question. "Has the Mop Club meeting ended yet, Mr. President?"

"Almost." I squeezed her full breasts through the thin fabric of her dress, kissed her lips, then stated, "Meeting adjourned."

Haruhi nodded her agreement, removed her collar, and placed it in the plastic bag. After taking a deep breath, her countenance hardened, her spine stiffened, and her lips formed a line.

"Just so you know," she said, reverting back to normal-Haruhi mode, "there will be absolutely no overlap between our two clubs. You run your club the way you see fit, and I'll run my club the way I see fit. They're two separate groups with distinctly different charters."

"I have no problem with that."

"Also, I expect you to keep me fully apprised of the Mop Club's schedule in the same way I keep you apprised of all SOS Brigade activities." She poked me in the chest. "You got that?"

"Of course."

The train pulled up, and its doors opened. Haruhi turned, ran off, and hopped on board.


	18. Overdose

.

**Chapter Seventeen: Overdose**

At last, I was free of the curse. After spending all day Saturday fucking the Mop Club's Number One Minion, my dick had returned to normal. All the power it once held had dissipated into the ether.

Yeah. In my dreams!

I knew better. My three previous sperm-spewing sessions with this universe's oblivious goddess taught me well. After spending an inordinate amount of time violating Haruhi's orifices and injecting inhuman amounts of semen into them, I figured my dick now glowed with radioactive heat. In fact, when I got home I sneaked into the bathroom and turned off the lights to see if it emitted any radiation in the visible spectrum. To my surprise, it didn't.

I knew tests were in order, but I couldn't work up the nerve or energy to call Yuki or Mikuru. The day's events had drained me. When my head hit the pillow, the lights went out.

I'd find out soon enough whether or not anything changed since I'd scheduled my weekly torture-fest with Tsuruya on Sunday at 10:00 AM. As I rode the train to our rendezvous, I thought about clerk Kobi and the instructions he'd been given regarding special guest John Smith.

Would Kobi tell Miss Jones about Miss Miller and the inordinate amount of time this smoking-hot brunette and I spent together in the Honeymoon Suite? Would he comment on the unnatural volume of the messes we made? Would he show the building's owner security camera footage of the Mop Club's president, its Number One Minion, and their mascot (an unused cotton-stranded mop) navigating the halls?

Or, perhaps, would Tsuruya find out what Haruhi and I ordered for lunch and dinner? Would she see the bill for my minion's shiny new collar?

I knew the answers to all these questions. Tsuruya had no interest in any of that stuff. She knew I had other girls in my harem and she didn't care. She felt secure knowing our unique relationship transcended those others.

Still, when I opened the door to the S&M room and saw Tsuruya sitting in the corner on a stool, naked but for a black leather collar, her arms hugging her chest, her legs crossed, her foot tapping the floor nervously, I found it difficult to work up the will to torture her. Normally, I transmuted the anxiety and guilt I'd felt throughout the week into the anger required to fulfill my sadistic role. Today, I felt different.

I stepped before her, smiled, and playfully pinched her nipples. "Top of the morning, pretty lady."

Tsuruya shook her head. "Is this going to be one of _those_ days again, Boss?" She glanced at the door. "Is someone bringing flowers?"

"Not today." I curled my index finger through the metal loop of her collar, pulled her to the center of the floor, and bound her spread-eagle, face-down with the leather cuffs and ropes made available for that purpose. Then I fastened a custom leather blindfold with a triangular cutout for the nose over her eyes and thoughtfully greased up her anus.

She tensed when I rubbed her shapely bare bottom.

"I want you to tell me if this feels any different." I unsheathed my radioactive dick and plunged it deep into her ass.

Tsuruya screamed and shuddered as if she'd stuck her finger in a light socket, instantly orgasming multiple times. The shaking continued as I humped her. Once I finished emptying myself into the girl's colon, I pulled out and sat cross-legged opposite her head.

Her cheek rested on the hardwood floor, her open mouth drooled, and her lungs heaved for air. "Holy shit, Boss. What did you do to me? That was incredible."

"Take a look." I removed the blindfold.

After craning her neck forward while slowly blinking her eyes, she focused on my appendage. "Oh, my god. What did you do to him?"

"What do you mean?"

Instead of replying, Tsuruya opened wide and stuck her tongue out toward my shaft like a parched desert traveler seeking water — even though it was more than a foot out of reach. She tugged mightily against her restraints and tried to slide toward me. "Please, Boss."

I sighed. "That's what I figured." I scooted forward and laid my dick on her tongue. She came twice from pleasuring me orally before I sprayed another sizable load of cream into her mouth and belly.

Her first word after I pulled my dick back was, "More," which I dutifully gave her.

By the end of our session, Tsuruya lost consciousness from climaxing so often and with so much intensity. With help from Kobi and a member of the hotel staff, I was able to transfer her to a standard room so she could sleep it off.

My session with Tsuruya begged the question, could I maintain a normal sexual relationship with another girl while regularly fucking Haruhi Suzumiya? Not that I considered my relationships with Ruma, Mikuru, Yuki, and Tsuruya "normal" by any measure. But I had to be honest with myself. Haruhi had transferred her essence to my pole. This essentially made me a pimp who kept his harem hooked by dispensing the drug produced by his magical penis.

The prospect of focusing all my sexual energy exclusively on Haruhi didn't bother me. However, I had four, maybe five girls if I included Angie, who were addicted to my dick.

###

Monday morning found me taking my regular morning shower with Ruma Stretta. Our get-together left her so exhausted from orgasming many multiple times, she could barely lift her firm tattooed butt off the tile floor. As was the case with Tsuruya, Ruma even came twice while blowing me, which didn't make sense in the normal world but made total sense in Haruhi's universe.

Mikuru's breasts couldn't handle my dick either. Her titty-fucks felt heavenly, but she had to skip out to another time plane temporarily until the sensitivity of her globes reduced to the point where she could cover them. Who knows how much time she spent masturbating by fondling herself?

By the end of the day, I knew letting Yuki blow me in art class was a horrible idea so I had a heart-to-heart talk with the girl. I explained what had happened this past weekend and the effect my dick had on the other girls.

Thanks to Yuki's human interface origins, I believed that I had managed to get through to her.

I made it through art class alone, but the quality of my painting suffered. When my teacher Miss Kakumatsu remarked that my work lacked its usual vibrancy, I considered asking her to take the place of the naked cutie that normally spent the class period sucking my dick. But I decided against it.

Later that evening, this same invisible cutie sneaked into my home and into bed with me. I didn't notice Yuki's soft familiar lips wrapped around my penis until I woke from gushing a load of semen down her throat. I'd be lying if I said I minded that wakeup call. Still, her irrational behavior weighed on me.

###

As for Haruhi Suzumiya, her behavior was totally predictable. With the mop no longer in the club room but leaning up against the wall in my garage, her sighing ceased and our SOS Brigade meetings returned back to normal.

She'd made the nature of our alternating leadership roles crystal clear. Mop Club activities existed in their own hermetically sealed space apart from SOS Brigade and school activities, and I was not allowed to mention them. She'd only given me permission to mention two things: Mop Club meeting times and corresponding Mop Club meeting locations.

Unsurprisingly, this gave Haruhi complete control over the schedule, at least theoretically. If she didn't like a time or place I suggested, she could veto my proposal by claiming it conflicted with school or SOS Brigade time. Also, I assumed Mop Club meetings could not occur in school or in the club room. In other words, I couldn't schedule a quickie after an SOS Brigade meeting.

Though I planned to test my assumptions (and would later learn they missed the mark by a thousand miles), at this point I didn't want to rock the boat.

When I handed Haruhi a note in homeroom on Wednesday that read simply, "Saturday-8AM-Park bench," her nod of approval buoyed me. Then she crumpled up the paper, stuffed it in her bag, and looked out the window as if nothing special had happened.

###

By the end of the week, the girls in my harem needed help. Extending the drug analogy, they were overdosing.

Tsuruya didn't make it back to school on Monday and she kept her distance from me throughout the week after coming back on Wednesday.

Constant exposure to my super-dick fried Ruma's brain and body. Her spotty class attendance got even worse as did her attitude. After getting physically drained each morning, she dragged herself through the halls of North High like a zombie. Her regulars who could always count on a quickie or a blowjob, got reduced to nothing, which in turn meant her lunch funds got reduced to nothing as well. The addiction left her powerless, yet I didn't have the heart to deny her.

Mikuru's time travel skills allowed her to recover, but over-stimulation took its toll. Because of all the days she spent away from the my time plane to recover, the girl literally aged before my eyes (admittedly, into her very hot older self, but still…)

Yuki's ability to plug into the Data Integration Thought Entity and the eternal nature of her existence helped her cope, but I worried when she spent less time reading and more time sneaking peeks at my pants. I couldn't justify having a constantly climaxing girl in my art class shaking my desk and softly moaning, so I went to bed an hour early each night to compensate for her nightly surprise wakeup blowjobs which were the bomb by the way, but I knew I wasn't doing her any favors.

I wanted a solution and I wanted it badly, and this made me glad. As Haruhi had said, "When you focus your desires on something long enough and with enough intensity, it's bound to appear in your real life." I had faith in this adage now and it didn't let me down.


	19. Technology

.

**Chapter Nineteen: Technology**

The week's SOS Brigade meetings were uneventful. Haruhi fulfilled her role as brigade leader at her standard level of competence and energy. In fact, she remained her normal self throughout the entire week, not only in club meetings but also during school time. Aside from her quick acknowledgment of our upcoming Saturday morning meeting, she didn't hint that anything at all had changed in the course of her universe. Considering what we'd done the previous Saturday, this was surreal.

Though I tried my best to match her stoicism, I didn't fare as well. I'd considered Haruhi an extremely beautiful girl since the first day I met her, and I made that assessment while she had her clothes on. Now that I was intimately familiar with every square inch of what lurked beneath that North High uniform, I couldn't keep my eyes in their sockets. My imagination kept pretending that her clothes no longer existed. This reaction might seem odd since I regularly banged four other hotties, but viewing their nude forms didn't match the rush of viewing my nude minion.

After Haruhi officially closed the Friday meeting, I considered reminding her of the Mop Club meeting the next day, in several hours actually. But I knew I didn't have to. Like me, she wouldn't miss that meeting for the world. In fact, I assumed she'd arrive early.

Now that I was the president, she couldn't yell at me for not beating her to the park bench. I could even get away with being late. Hell, if I wanted to, I could make her pay for lunch. The power of the presidency was heady.

But I knew better than to squander that asset. I wanted her to know that I took my Mop Club President duties seriously. I wasn't going to wing it. I had a great day planned for my Minion. Using the knowledge I'd gleaned from our inaugural meeting, I arranged a great outing, and I was one hundred percent certain Haruhi was going to love it.

###

I rested in my bed late Friday night with my fingers intertwined behind my head. A now-familiar bulge raised the sheets at the foot of the bed and moved toward me.

"Hello, Yuki."

She didn't reply. Instead, she deftly pulled my penis through the slit in my pajamas and took it into her mouth. As usual, Yuki's blowjob was phenomenal. I shuddered from the bliss induced by her lips.

As I reached for the polarizing glasses on my nightstand, Yuki slid up next to me. She curled into my side and looked at me with content chipmunk cheeks.

"Savoring the flavor?"

She nodded. I brushed a few strands of hair off her forehead with one hand and rubbed her shapely bare bottom with the other. "Thanks for the B.J.. That was wonderful."

Several swallows cleared her mouth. She wiggled her hips. "Do you want to use me?"

"Always," I replied. "But not right now. I need to save my energy." I patted her bum. "I was wondering if I could borrow your hologram generator for a few hours."

"For your Mop Club meeting with Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Would that be a problem? Do I need to calibrate it to her body or anything?"

"No… and maybe." Yuki reached back, took a deep breath, and materialized.

I removed my glasses to see the unfiltered version of my alien friend.

"Here." She handed me the device.

The buttplug hologram generator was about as long as my index finger but a good bit thicker. It looked like a chrome-plated mini-torpedo. I sniffed the thing.

"It's self-sanitizing," Yuki said.

For those wondering, it smelled like a stainless steel fork freshly pulled out of a dishwasher.

"Let me guess," I said. "This goes up her ass."

"Yes. Once it recognizes a new host it will sample her DNA and recalibrate." She paused and bit her lip. "It comes with an accessory kit. Would you like me to retrieve it?"

"Could you?"

"Please." Yuki got on all fours on the top of my bed, turned her bum toward me, and spread her knees.

I got the message. "Will this hurt?"

"No."

Yuki moaned as I slowly pushed the torpedo deep into her butt. She disappeared from view moments after the plug's flared end seated in her anus.

"Ten minutes," said a disembodied voice.

The window in my bedroom opened and let in the breeze. Ten minutes later, a black case donning an engraved "Z" logo floated through the open window and the window closed. The indentation of Yuki's legs deformed my mattress. The case floated over them.

I put on my glasses. Kneeling on my bed in all her naked wonder, Yuki Nagato held the case in her lap.

I ran my fingertips over it. "What's the 'Z' stand for?"

"Zork Technologies, the manufacturer of the device."

She opened the case, revealing a myriad of accessories, some of which I recognized.

"The device alters the molecular characteristics of the skin of the carbon-based life form using it." She reached into the case and pulled out a metallic silver band. "Miss Suzumiya will need this."

I held the band in my fingers and noted its elastic quality. It reminded me of one of my sister's scrunchies. "For her hair?"

"Yes."

I reached into the case and grabbed what looked to be the user manual. The cover read _Zork Technologies, Hologram Generator, Anal Edition_. I leafed through its pages. "Wow, this thing's got everything you could think of… iPhone interface, sole reinforcement, temperature control…" I raised my eyebrows. "... orgasm enhancement." I chuckled. "I bet you like keeping that setting turned up."

"I do."

"This thing must use a ton of power. How long will the batteries last on a charge?"

"One Zork-month." She paused. "Two human years."

I rested my hand on Yuki's thigh. "Thanks. This is really cool."

"I didn't bring clothes."

I chuckled because someone as resourceful as Yuki could find a hundred different ways to get home unnoticed.

"I guess you'll have to spend the night with me then." I waved my finger. "But you have to spend it sleeping."

She frowned.

"Okay, you can do what you like, but I need to stay asleep. I really need to be rested for tomorrow."

"Understood."

###

Yuki kept her word. I'm not sure how she did it. She may have emitted Theta waves or something, but I slept like a log — a log that dreamed he had a cute naked girl sucking on his penis all night.

She watched me from beneath the sheets as I got dressed.

"You can hang out here if you'd like," I told her. "My mom works double shifts on the weekends and there's nothing in my bedroom for my little sister."

She shot me an imperceptible smile from underneath the blanket. "I'll wait here for your return."

I hustled down the stairs with my sport bag slung over my shoulder. On my way out the door, I considered stopping in the garage for the mop. I hadn't used it yet and, at this point, I supposed it wasn't really meant to be used. It was really more of a mascot or a symbol.

Besides, when it came to symbolic mops, Yuki had given me a much better idea.


	20. A New Mop

.

**Chapter Twenty: A New Mop**

I rode the train to the Mop Club meeting with the official Zork Technologies BPHG (Butt-Plug Hologram Generator) manual in my lap. Though familiar city scenes passed by my cabin window, I couldn't help but feel the tracks were taking me to a different universe. The Haruhi Suzumiya I'd be meeting in twenty minutes wasn't the same person I'd spent the week with at school.

Mop Club Haruhi was a different species of female; the perfect club member, the ultimate subordinate, a minion who loved making messes while nude. Her decision to forgo clothing during our down time at the Toyohara Love Hotel made me think. When you're spending all day having incredible sex, wearing clothing isn't usually something you think about. But I sensed that it mattered.

I'm sure Haruhi would have worn anything her president asked her to, but as we took a break from making messes for lunch and dinner, she politely declined to don anything but her collar. Her decision confused me at first. I now understood that it conveyed the unspoken message that I was fully in charge. It's tough to take charge when you're the only naked person in a room.

This understanding inspired me to borrow Yuki's hologram generator, because this piece of alien technology would allow Haruhi to maintain her subservient nudity in any environment, even outdoors.

I was more than a little nervous for the Mop Club's second official meeting. Taking the reins of this new club as its unquestioned leader led me to develop a good deal more respect for Haruhi. I had no idea that taking full charge presented such a challenge. It was so much easier to be the member, the follower, the subordinate. You simply did as told. That role had its appeal.

Don't get me wrong. There's no way in the world a girl like Haruhi Suzumiya could exist in this world as a full-time follower. But letting go of the reins now and then under controlled conditions provided a therapeutic break.

The train pulled into the station and I got off. I hung out on the platform for a few minutes before crossing the street to the park. Crisp morning air cooled my face as I strolled along the concrete path.

When I arrived at bench a couple seconds before eight o'clock, Haruhi was already waiting for me. Wearing a fresh blue dress, she held her phone up to me. "Eight AM sharp."

"Nice punctuality, Minion." I sat next to her. "The Mop Club is in session."

"Good morning, Mr. President." Haruhi wrapped her arms around me and kissed me fully on the lips.

"Good morning, Minion," I said, blinking. _Wow._

Haruhi glanced around and raised her hand.

"Yes."

"With all due respect, sir, shouldn't the Mop Club have a mop?"

"That's a very good question. And it does."

A quizzical expression remained.

I continued. "As the president of the Mop Club, I get to decide the attributes of the mop, right?"

"Of course."

"Then you'll have to take it on faith that I've got the mop angle covered and you'll find out about it in due time."

"Absolutely, Mr. President." She put her hands in her lap. "So what's the plan today?"

I noticed the slight arch of her back and the forward thrust of her breasts. "Stand up."

Haruhi rose.

"Bend forward."

Haruhi clasped her hands behind her back and obeyed.

After glancing from side to side to make sure no one was watching, I pulled down the stretchy top of her dress to reveal her flawless breasts. "Damn."

She giggled.

"Turn." When she turned her back, I lifted her skirt to reveal her perfect bare bottom.

"I hope you're okay with me not wearing underwear, Mr. President. It kind of got in the way last week."

I patted the space beside me and let her sit. "Not at all, Minion. Considering what I've got planned for you, it's perfect." Before continuing, I tossed out a test question to see how she'd answer. "By the way, did you have a good week?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. President." Haruhi shot back an obviously rehearsed line. "I have absolutely no memory of this week's events."

Hermetically sealed, just as I predicted.

"Did you remember your outfit?"

A sly grin lit up her face. "Of course." She extended her right hand and presented her collar. She looked around and bit her lip. In the distance, a few stragglers shuffled through the park. She set the collar on the bench, stood, and flung the dress strap off of her left shoulder.

I held up my hand an instant before the other dress strap fell. "Hang on."

She lowered her hands. "Shouldn't I get properly dressed?"

"You don't mind wearing your uniform"— I spread out my hands.—"here in the park?"

"I'll do whatever you say."

_Holy shit._ Her reply sounded eerily familiar.

"I've decided to modify your uniform."

"Yes, sir. That's totally within your purview as the president of this club."

"Thanks to a fortuitous turn of fate," I continued, "I was able to get my hands on a really cool piece of technology."

Haruhi nodded. I knew she wouldn't question fate.

I pulled the hologram generator out of my bag. "This device makes its wearer invisible. Plus, it has some other cool features." I handed her the device, removed the polarizing glasses from my pocket, and put the glasses on. "After initializing this device, you'll only be visible to yourself and the person wearing these glasses."

She turned the torpedo in her hands. "Does this device go where I think it does?"

"It's meant to be carried anally."

She squinted. "And I'll really turn invisible when I shove this up my ass?"

"It turns your skin into a holographic projector that precisely redirects light." I pointed up. "Your hair is a problem, but there's an accessory for that." I reached into the bag and handed her the silver scrunchie. "This is an auxiliary emitter. It will make your hair invisible."

Haruhi pulled her hair into a ponytail and wrapped the emitter around it. She turned and waved her ponytail back and forth.

"Damn." I sighed. "That is so hot."

Haruhi frowned. "In a minute I'll likely be completely naked with your dick in my mouth, and you're turned on because of this." She grabbed her ponytail. "You're an odd sort of president at times, sir."

"You may be right." I pointed at her head. "The emitter only works with organic matter keyed to your DNA, so your hair ribbon will have to go too."

"That's no biggy."

"One question before we go. How would you define a mop?"

She put her finger to her chin. "A long thin stick with absorbent cotton cords tied to the end."

"If we chose to be a little less precise, we could say it's something long and thin with tied strands at the end."

"You're the president, sir. You can choose to be as precise as you want."

I ran my hand along the side of her body. "Long and thin." Then over her scrunchie and ponytail. "With tied strands at the end."

Her eyes lit up. "I'm the mop!" She grabbed a shoulder strap. "At least I will be when I take off this dress and hair ribbon. That is so cool."

I got up and offered her my hand. "Why don't you change in the bathroom?"

Ten minutes later, a neatly folded dress topped by a hair ribbon and a pair of sandals floated toward me. I opened the sports bag. The clothes magically flew in on top of the collar and her phone. When I put on my polarizing lenses, the nude goddess appeared.

She touched the rims. "You look sexy in those glasses, Prez."

"Why do you say that?" I couldn't help myself. "Do you have a glasses fetish?"

She nodded. "Actually, I do." She dropped to her knees. "When I'm nude around a guy that's wearing glasses, I develop an unstoppable urge to suck his dick." She gasped while rubbing the buttplug's tip. "Oh, my. The way this thing is buzzing inside me is driving me nuts. I want to come so bad already."

"Should I turn it down?"

"No need, sir. I'll manage."

As I stood in the grass beyond the far side of the walkway across from the bathroom building, Haruhi lovingly sucked me off. If someone were standing next to me, they might have been able to see some shimmering where the hologram generator did it's best to recreate the image of zipped-up pants, and they may have noticed indentations in the grass where Haruhi knelt, but from a distance, everything looked unremarkable.

I looked on in wonder through my polarizing lenses as the invisible nude beauty manually pleasured herself while orally pushing me toward the edge. Though Haruhi's expressive moans during our simultaneous climax turned heads, nobody saw a thing.

We enjoyed ourselves while roaming through the park and then the city. Following paths we often took as members of the SOS Brigade, we now walked them as Mop Club members. The BPHG's sole reinforcement feature enhanced her foot bottoms, alleviating Haruhi's need for shoes. Despite cool breezes and chilly temperatures, the BPHG's skin regulation feature kept her warm.

We had sex in a store and in a tea cafe, on the street and in a photo booth. During a break, Haruhi rubbed her plugged bare bottom. "I always knew technology like this existed, but the military keeps it secret." She crossed her arms under her full breasts. "How did you manage to get a hold of it, Mr. President?"

"I have absolutely no memory of how I acquired that device."

"Understood." She pulled me close and kissed me on the cheek. "There is one problem, though, aside from the continual buzzing that constantly keeps me on the edge."

"That's supposed to be a feature, not a bug," I said.

"How are we going to deal with this hologram generator when its time to butt-fuck me?"

For obvious reasons, we hadn't engaged in anal intercourse. "Would you be upset if that activity didn't make it onto the agenda today?"

"Hell, yes!" she blurted. "… Sir … But you're the boss."

I pointed to an open alleyway. "How about we fool around behind that van?"

"Woo hoo!"

She took my hand and pulled me along. Once we settled into place out of view of the street, Haruhi removed the BPHG and set it on the van's front bumper. Watching her materialize in full color instantly hardened me.

The nervous energy surging through our bodies as I butt-fucked her in broad daylight made our shared climax that much more intense. Our both being visible, however, made me more aware of Haruhi's vocal expressiveness. Loud moans emanating from a fully nude visible girl were easy to trace.

After properly butt-fucking my Minion and making another fine mess in the alleyway, we ran into a problem. My sizable manhood stretched her orifice to the point where the torpedo no longer remained as firmly seated.

"I'm sure my anus will shrink back to normal pretty soon." To be safe, Haruhi held her fingertips between her cheeks and clenched as we walked. Fifteen minutes later, she felt confident all was well and she lowered her hand and relaxed her muscles.

As we waited for a crosswalk signal in the middle of town, the BPHG slid out and hit the pavement with a metallic clunk. A gorgeous nude Japanese female materialized in the midst of a group of shocked bystanders.

"Hi everyone." She waved at those standing around us. "Sorry to startle you." Without missing a beat, she crouched down, retrieved the torpedo, and slid it back into her ass. Fifteen minutes later, all was well, plus we'd learned a valuable lesson.

I rated the Mop Club's second meeting a five-star event. We spent the day making messes all over town, and the club's Number One Minion — and now its Official Mop — had the thrill of her life.

###

When I got back home mid-afternoon, Yuki Nagato waited for me on the bed. As usual, she looked beautiful in her particular brand of nudity. It was nice to see her without the aid of glasses.

I held the buttplug in my hand.

She got on all fours at the edge of the bed with her bottom facing out and wiggled her hips. "Care to have some fun with me first?"

I rubbed her lovely cheeks. "I'd really like to, but I am so spent. Can I take a rain check?"

She glanced over her shoulder. "Can I return tonight?"

"Sure." I placed the tip of the buttplug up to her anus. "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

As I slowly pushed the plug into her ass, her body shivered. Halfway in, Yuki convulsed.

I stopped pushing. "Are you all right?"

"It feels wonderful," Yuki said. "Please don't stop."

By the time the BPHG set deep inside her ass, Yuki had experienced multiple orgasms. The device whirred and vibrated a bit as it configured itself to its new host, and Yuki disappeared from view. I fished the polarizing glasses out of my pocket. The image of Yuki lying peacefully on her side with a tiny content smile on her face stunned me.

"Is everything all right?"

"I feel amazing."

"No kidding." I pulled out my irresistible dick. "Are you in the mood for a snack?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. I'm fine. For now."

My jaw dropped. "Amazing."

Yuki didn't return that night. She didn't need to because she'd been given a magical substitute — a buttplug hologram generator christened by the anus of this universe's goddess.


	21. Hope

.

**Chapter 21: Hope**

Saturday night I laid in bed with my fingers intertwined behind my head, my focus on the ceiling, alone because a goddess-blessed butt-plug had satiated Yuki's sexual urges. A crazy plan formed in my mind. I felt certain the plan would work if I could pull it off, but I needed someone to help me. As luck would have it, I'd be speaking to this exact right person tomorrow morning.

I wasn't looking forward to my Sunday meeting with Tsuruya. I didn't dread it either. Securely bound and suspended from the ceiling by her ankles, her long hair brushing the dungeon floor, Tsuruya's struggling nude form glowed like a work of art in my imagination. My hand tightened around an imaginary horsewhip.

But after a full day of mind-blowing, incredible sex — most of it in public — who wants to go back to merely exceptional sex? Especially with someone who got off on being abused? Okay, sure, I got off on abusing her, but now the prospect didn't thrill me as much. Tsuruya's creative insults didn't wine me up like they usually did.

After another successful Mop Club meeting, my dick emitted more sexual radioactivity than ever. Last time it speared Tsuruya's ass, it nearly sent her into a coma. She skipped school for a couple days, exhausted in bed.

I could have limited our sessions to only torture, but she needed more. Getting fucked by my magic dick balanced out the discomfort and created the sublime mixture of pleasure and pain she'd gotten addicted to.

I really didn't want to fuck and beat her, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

I arrived at the Toyohara Love Hotel at 9:45 AM, a few minutes early.

"Miss Jones is awaiting your arrival." Kobi, the hotel's manager, offered me the room key. "Will you be needing anything else?"

"Now that you mention it, I might."

Hotel manager Kobi, who I'd learned to respect as the consummate professional, bowed. "How can I be of service?"

"Have you ever had anyone ask to have a cast made of a body part?"

"Of, course. Your request is more common than you may have guessed. We partner with a vendor that provides that service in-house. Would you like me to send someone over?"

"I would."

Kobi pulled out a notepad. "Will the cast be a gift for Miss Jones?"

"It will, among others."

"And the body part we'll be casting…?" He glanced down at my zipper.

"You read my mind."

"Someone will stop by within the hour."

"Excellent. When they arrive, can you ask them to bring me some roses?"

"Of, course."

I walked away, then stopped and turned back. "Will the person casting me be a man or a woman?"

"What would you prefer?"

"A male… a straight male."

"We'll be happy to accommodate your request."

When I entered the S&M room, an unclothed Tsuruya sat on her usual stool in the corner with her legs tightly crossed and her arms hugging her chest. The hair tied in a bun atop her head seemed as tightly wound as she was. "Look, Boss, this may sound nuts, but your dick is starting to scare me."

"My dick scares you?" I waved my hand about the room. "Not the whips or clamps or paddles or any of these machines?"

She shot me a defiant grin. "Since I'm only getting tuned-up by a pussy like you, they're a piece of cake."

_That__'s why I love this girl. _I suppressed a smile and pointed to my zipper. "Do you want it?"

"More than life itself. That's the problem."

"Will it break our relationship?"

"You're all I can think about. You… and him, of course. It's getting out of hand."

"I think I can fix this… you know… our problem."

She nodded. "Okay."

I grabbed a coil of rope, led her to the center of the room, and tied her wrists to the end loop of a winch cable. Pressing the red wall-mounted button engaged the winch and pulled her wrists skyward until she stood on her tiptoes. Moments later, a leather blindfold covered her eyes and a red ballgag stuffed her mouth.

"I won't let you see him today," I said. "That may help."

I blasted the hard rock station playing on the radio, shed my clothes, and graciously lubed my erection. Then I stepped up behind her, lifted her left leg, and plunged my rod deep into her ass. As expected, she convulsed as multiple orgasms wracked her body. After filling her colon with seed, I mitigated the pleasure of my magic manhood with a dozen firm paddle swats to the butt as she twisted her body in a failed effort to dodge them. The swats helped, but the pleasure overdose still left Tsuruya a shuddering mess.

Someone knocked on the door. Perfect timing. I tied Tsuruya's ankles together, pulled a leather hood over her head, and fastened nipple clamps on her breasts. "You need a break," I shouted over the radio's blare.

I pulled on a robe and strolled to the foyer. When I opened the door, a gray-haired gentleman hefting a large wooden case handed me a bouquet.

"Thank you," I said. "Can you do this somewhat quietly?"

He nodded and flashed me a thumbs up.

Making the cast near the hotel room door wasn't going to work for me if you know what I mean. I led the man to the main room where a gorgeous bound beauty dripped cum from her ass. The hood hid Tsuruya's identity and the loud music covered our minimal noise.

The man expertly mixed alginate in a long cylindrical container and asked me to fuck the mixture. The warm chemicals congealed around my shaft. When the mixture hardened to the perfect consistency, we eased the container off my rock hard dick and balls. He mouthed the words, _How many?_

I did some quick mental arithmetic and flashed him six fingers.

He nodded, put his stuff away, and quietly left the room.

I pulled off Tsuruya's hood and rubbed a rose against the nose extending through the triangle of the blindfold. After placing the stem of the rose against her chest between her breasts, I pushed her clamped nipples toward each other and connected them with a short chain.

"That looks amazing," I said. "No one models flowers as well as you." I let her hair bun down and placed more flowers in her long flowing mane.

Topping off my masterpiece — or maybe bottoming it — I inserted one last rose stem in her ass.

###

I rode the train home from the Toyohara with high hopes. Something had to change, and I felt confident the universe had led me to the perfect out. As usual, I left Tsuruya a blubbering, sexually depleted mess — a very pretty mess covered with roses.

When I arrived at the front door of my house, someone's approach from the side startled me.

"I've been waiting for you all day." Ruma Stretta, dressed in torn jeans shorts and a tank top, clutched my arm. "I need a fix." The tattooed girl looked even more drawn and skinnier than I remembered, and her breath smelled of cigarette smoke.

"Hang on." I stepped inside and checked the house. As usual, my mom was working her weekend double shift, and it looked like my little sister was playing with a friend that lived a couple of doors down. "Come on in."

As soon as I closed the door, Ruma attacked me. She held me tight and welded her mouth onto mine for a kiss. "I need your cock. Now."

Seconds later, my dick filled her mouth.

After spending several hours cycling through my favorite sexual positions, Ruma lay on my bed, near-comatose, face down. I noticed a new addition to her right butt cheek.

"What's this?" My fingers stroked the fresh tattoo depicting a luminous erect penis set atop a balls base.

"I tried to describe _him_ as good as I could. What do you think?"

"I have no words."

I helped her get dressed, walked her down the steps, and led her out the door.

"Will you be all right?" I asked.

"I think so. See you tomorrow? That is, if I make it out of bed."

"Sure."

My little sister scampered in right before I closed the door. _Perfect timing._

"Who was that?" she asked.

"A friend."

"She sure likes to draw on her skin a lot."

"You have no idea," I said.

"I'm telling Miss Suzumiya."

"What would it take to bribe you?"

"Will you let me stay up late tonight?"

"You've got a deal. Brat."


	22. Riddles

.

**Chapter 22: Riddles**

Ruma didn't make it to our morning shower rendezvous, which was fine with me and totally expected. Tsuruya didn't make it to school either.

Haruhi Suzumiya did.

"How was your weekend?" I casually asked the girl sitting in the desk behind me. "Did you do anything interesting?"

"Not really," she replied without missing a beat. "I did some homework and read a book. You?"

"Pretty much the same," I replied, trying to be just as casual. "I think I watched some anime. I don't remember much else. You know how it is."

Haruhi looked out the window and didn't answer. After a short pause, her eyes met mine. "Have you ever walked into a room with the intent of looking for something but you totally forget what you came in to look for?"

"Sure," I said. "That's happened to me."

"Then, about ten minutes later, you remember again?"

I wasn't sure what she was trying to tell me, but I played along. "Happens all the time."

The class bell rang and we gave our attention to our homeroom teacher Mr. Okabe.

###

Angie Nigahara also showed up on Monday. She'd served her two weeks in detention. The psychiatrists said she wasn't a suicide risk anymore and allowed her to return to school. She accosted me in the hallway between classes.

"Hey, Kyon. How's it going?"

"Good to see you," I said. "Are you feeling better?"

She pulled me to the side and whispered, "Can I please suck your dick again?"

Angie hadn't experienced my dick since I started the Mop Club, so her desire to have me wasn't as intense. "Can it wait a few days? You know how crazy school is."

She frowned. "But that's so long. You promised."

"I did?"

"Well, sort of."

"You've waited two weeks. Can you hang on just a little bit more?"

"I suppose." She looked down at her shoes. "By the way, thank you for saving my life again."

I gave her a hug. "No problem."

###

My midday meeting with Mikuru didn't last long. As usual, I wolfed down my lunch and trotted up to the club room to find a gorgeous nude redhead on her knees, cupping her magnificent globes in anticipation. When her breasts enveloped my dick, it was as if she'd wrapped them around a high-intensity electric power line. She held on valiantly as she rubbed and sucked my guy toward climax.

During the process, she often pulled off and emoted, "Oh, my," or "Oh, boy," as orgasms wracked her frame. Fortunately, it didn't take long for me to come into her mouth and all over her body.

Spent, she lay back on the ground with her knees up and ankles spread. "It should be illegal for titty-sex to feel that good," she gasped.

I reached down and patted her knee. "Don't worry. I understand. Let's skip tomorrow."

She nodded. "Thank you."

Since our afternoon session ended so quickly, I walked to the cafeteria to hang out with my friends. In the corner, sitting alone at a table, I spied Haruhi studying a book. I considered joining her for a moment, but it wasn't something I often did. Besides, I'd already wolfed down my lunch before my meeting with Mikuru and I know Haruhi preferred to eat alone.

She looked different in a wonderful way but I couldn't place why. Then it struck me. Her hair ribbon. She'd moved it from the standard spot atop her head where it framed her gorgeous face and she'd used it to bind her hair into a ponytail. She hadn't done something like that since our first weeks of class when she tied her hair off differently each day. It was very odd.

I walked up to her. "I like it," I said. "I mean, it looks nice. The ponytail."

Haruhi glanced up from the book. "Did you lose something?"

Even for Haruhi that was a more rude response than normal. I replied, "No."

She returned her gaze to the book and I walked off.

Very odd.

I sat down with my friends Kunikida and Taniguchi and we shot the breeze until the bell rang.

###

Yuki Nagato didn't make it to my Art Class meeting although she did attend the SOS Brigade Club meeting afterward. When I sat at my spot at the table and turned to look at her, she glanced back and read my mind. In a move that I would have considered out of character not that long ago, she wiggled her bottom and winked.

Her response told me she had a butt-plug firmly lodged up her ass with its hologram generating feature disengaged. She felt fine sexually and didn't require my services.

I shifted my gaze to our brigade leader who surfed the web at her commander's desk. Haruhi's hair ribbon had moved back to its regular spot. Her ponytail had vanished.

Mikuru was absent.

"Miss Asahina told me earlier that she wasn't feeling very good," Koizumi informed us.

I spent the club meeting playing chess with Koizumi.

###

Ruma managed to make it to the shower Tuesday morning, but she looked pale and gaunt. She accepted regular sex, which was less intense for her than oral, and she stumbled off once we finished. I felt horrible for the girl. One of North High's most attractive sluts couldn't perform at her usual levels because I'd fried her pleasure centers.

Homeroom found me sitting in front of Haruhi again. Once again, the hair ribbon graced her head in its standard configuration. We didn't speak much as Haruhi looked out the window. I hadn't decided exactly what I wanted to do this coming weekend and I wanted to make a habit of giving the suggested Mop Club meeting time each Wednesday.

I considered asking her why she'd worn a ponytail the previous day, but deep down I knew it was something I needed to figure out on my own. I sensed that the Mop Club's official mop was sending me a message and it was my job to decipher it.

###

Thanks to Mikuru's near-overdose the previous day, I had my lunch period off. Which sucked because my morning adventure with Ruma wasn't anything to write home about. It was becoming obvious that Haruhi wanted me to herself and the universe was helping her by wiping out the competition.

I recalled yesterday's image of my Minion sitting at her lunch table alone, her trademark ribbon ponytailing her hair. I deduced that this new behavior was somehow related to last Saturday's Mop Club meeting and my christening of Haruhi Suzumiya as the club's new mop.

As I ate my lunch with Taniguchi and Kunikida, Haruhi walked into the cafeteria. To my surprise, she'd once again pulled her hair into a ponytail, and as usual, it looked hot. Haruhi the Official Mop Club mop, wrapped in protective clothing between uses. I loved the imagery.

And I would have loved to tell her but the sting of yesterday's rebuke remained fresh in my mind. What had she said again? _"Did you lose something?" _What was that about?

My mind drifted to our homeroom conversation earlier that day. _"Have you ever walked into a room with the intent of looking for something but you totally forget what you came in to look for? Then, about ten minutes later, you remember again."_

Walking into a room and forgetting… for ten minutes… _No fucking way__…_

I'd figured it out. "Guys," I said. "I need a sheet of paper and something to write with. Now."

Kunikida fished into his pockets and pulled out a piece of paper while Taniguchi managed to come up with a pencil.

I quickly filed through my memories and tore off a rectangular slice of the paper. I checked the clock, wrote '_Room 101, 12:25PM, 10 minute meeting_,' and walked over to Haruhi's table.

Upon my arrival, she didn't look up. I dropped the note in the crease between the pages of her book and stepped back. She glanced at the note sideways, then at the clock, and she nodded.

I had three minutes to get to Room 101. I made it in forty seconds. As expected, the room was empty during lunch period as Okabe played handball.

Haruhi entered right on time.

I closed and locked the door. "The Mop Club is officially in session for a ten-minute meeting."

Instantly Haruhi's demeanor changed and a smile lit up her face. "Good afternoon, Mr. President." She rushed toward me, we held each other and kissed. When we parted, she moved to unbutton her blouse.

"Hang on," I said. "Since we're rushed for time, the club's official mop can remain partially wrapped."

Haruhi bent over a nearby school desk and flipped up her skirt. She wore no panties. "Whatever you say, Mr. President."

_Wow._

I dropped my pants and went to town fucking Haruhi doggy-style. Since we were both horny as hell, we climaxed together less than five minutes later. As usual, Haruhi voiced her appreciation loudly.

"Say, Minion, is there any way you can lower your voice when you come?"

"I'll do what I can, Mr. President." She held my waist—"But it's hard for me to control."—and kissed me. "That was fun. Thanks."

My shoe tapped the ridge of the puddle spreading on the floor. "What should we do about this mess?"

She pointed at the clock. Ten minutes had elapsed.

"Damn," I sighed. "Meeting adjourned."

Haruhi took a deep breath, and her visage hardened. She cleared her throat, brushed off her skirt, and strolled into the hallway her regular North High coed self. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, the activities of the previous ten minutes had been expunged from her memory as if they'd never happened.

I did my best to clean up the mess with paper towels.


	23. Endurance

.

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Endurance**

After sitting through another conventional Art Class, I walked through the hall, somewhat bummed that a cute naked alien wasn't walking beside me after having spent the previous hour with my dick in her mouth. Surprisingly, my artwork didn't suffer. It merely changed, mostly for the better. My work now drew on my memories of the Mop Club, in particular its most recent meeting.

Japanese schools don't allow students to carry their cell phones around during school hours, but I was expecting an important text message. I stopped at my locker before heading off to club; I yanked out the phone, powered it on, and sat on the bench. A shiny new text message from Toyohara Hotel manager Kobi greeted me. _Your package has arrived._

When I reply-texted Kobi a query asking if I could use S&M room this evening around 8 PM, he replied, _We can clear that time for you._

_Nice. _I wondered how much longer my VIP treatment was going to last.

I closed my locker. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned, Angie Nigahara greeted me with a frown.

"Hi, Kyon."

"Hi, Angie."

"You know…" She looked down at her feet. "I haven't been feeling real good about myself lately."

"Did you fail another test?"

"Oh, no. My teachers have been super helpful since I came back. I can do pretty much anything I want now and they won't fail me."

"So why are you feeling bad again?"

"Because I need to suck your dick and you won't let me."

"You know I'm dating Haruhi, don't you?"

"I knew that when I sucked you off on the roof two weeks ago."

"Are you sure it can't wait a few more days?"

"I'm not sure I can last that long. I may have to go back to the roof."

"They've chained the access door."

"I know about your secret entrance."

I shook my head in defeat. "I don't have time right now, but how about we meet in the gym tomorrow, under the bleachers, right before lunch period? Can you hold out that long at least?"

She considered my proposal and sighed. "I suppose." Angie hugged my arm. "Thank you so much, Kyon. You don't know what this means to me." She ran off.

###

When I got to the clubroom, Haruhi's hair ribbon had once again reverted to its standard location atop her head. I assumed her panties had returned as well. At an opportune time, I surreptitiously handed her a small note that read, _Mop Club Meeting, Toyohara Love Hotel, S&M Room, 8:00 PM tonight._

Haruhi's eyes bulged as she struggled and mostly succeeded at suppressing a smile. Her eyes flicked from side to side. A couple of times it landed on the clock as her brain performed the mental calculations needed to determine whether or not she could honor this unusual request. After all, it was a school night, she had homework due, and those things took precedence.

She crumpled up the paper and nodded.

###

I arrived at the Toyohara at 7:45 PM.

"Miss Miller awaits your arrival." Kobi handed me a key card. "And these are for you." He pushed a nondescript brown package across the counter.

I shook the package. "Are these the casts?"

"We hope they meet your requirements."

"They're kind of heavy."

"You'll find the weight, balance, and texture of each individual unit to be remarkably spot on."

Tearing open the package revealed a set of six smaller unmarked rectangular boxes. I gently opened one of the elegant white containers and lifted out the mold. As promised, the weight, texture, color, and appearance of the semi-stiff silicone dick-and-balls replica was perfect down to the routing of my veins. It looked great—no wonder these girls couldn't resist it.

I replaced the mold in the box and bowed. "These are wonderful. Thank you so much."

"Your satisfaction is our goal." Kobi returned the bow.

I trotted down the hall to my favorite Toyohara specialty room. After sliding my card key into the slot and opening the door, I authoritatively stated, "Mop Club is now in session. Your president has arrived."

I navigated the short foyer and entered the dungeon to find Haruhi Suzumiya standing at attention in the middle of the space with her arms at her sides, dressed in her collar. Only her collar. And she didn't wear her collar around her neck. Instead, she'd ingeniously wrapped it around her hair to form a ponytail.

As I approached, she saluted. "Official Mop Club mop… ready for inspection."

I put down the box, stood at attention, and returned the salute. "At ease, Minion."

"Holy smokes, Mr. President." Haruhi spun around with her arms out. "This place is amazing. What are you going to do to me?"

I tapped the box with my foot. "With the aid of these toys, I'm going to torture you while you're strapped to this equipment. Prepare for some serious double and triple penetration."

Her jaw dropped and her eyes blinked. "No way."

I considered asking Haruhi if she was okay with all this—for about a fraction of a second. I knew her too well. "I'm going to test your endurance." Everyone knew that Haruhi Suzumiya could not resist a challenge.

A pleased smile lit up her face. "Whatever you say, Mr. President. But first…" She ran into my arms. As her full perfect breasts compressed against my chest, she kissed me deeply.

I ran my hand along her ponytail, down her back, and over her firm bare bottom before releasing her. "I'll be right back, Minion."

I tuned the wall-recessed radio to a techno station playing music at the tempo and volume at which I wanted to fuck her. Then I took her hand and led her to the wooden dungeon horse (which got its name because the padded contraption looked like a horse). I strapped her down on all fours, like one horse on top of another, before affixing a leather blindfold over her eyes.

For the next few hours, I had the time of my life.

Haruhi remained blindfolded for most of her ordeal, except for some of the times I stuffed my genuine dick into her mouth. As I double and triple-penetrated her with wild abandon, I rotated the six molds in and out of her three orifices, making sure each one got an adequate dose of goddess essence. In addition, her cum-filled orifices gave each silicone phallus a healthy coating of semen.

At first, I feared Haruhi might suspect something was up when she realized how well I knew myself around this equipment, but the more I fucked her, the less I cared.

_I__'ve been practicing for this evening, _I would have told her if she asked—she never did—and it wouldn't be too far from the truth.

When I saw how much fun she was having and how much abuse she was willing to take, I decided to go all out. My gut told me Haruhi wasn't the pain slut Tsuruya had become and wasn't on that trajectory, so I took it easy with the paddles and whips. Instead, I focused on challenging configurations, strenuous poses, merciless tickling, and non-stop, vibrator-induced, forced multiple orgasms.

And, of course, we fulfilled the Mop Club charter. I filled each of her holes to the brim and beyond with my semen, and we made a hell of a mess.

At one point, Haruhi hung suspended upside-down from the ceiling by her ankles, her wrists tightly bound behind her back. Life-sized silicone casts stuffed her anus and vagina to the hilt while another cast, held fast with a cord, filled her mouth. A blindfold kept her in the dark. Her ponytail swayed back and forth when she tensed, jerked, and chirped each time I swished the thin rod through the air. Would my next swat impact her tender breasts, or her thighs, or nothing at all? The anticipation drove her crazy.

###

At the close of the night, Haruhi lay on her back on the padded floor; arms and legs splayed, stretched, and bound; breasts, thighs, and bottom a healthy glowing red; a leather ball gag stuffing her mouth; a vibrating dildo gently teasing her love canal.

She blubbered and giggled uncontrollably—much like Tsuruya after one of our sessions but without the deep bruising and tears. The image reminded me of a girl who'd just gotten off the world's craziest roller coaster after riding it fifty times.

Having just gotten out of the shower, I did my best to avoid the blotches of semen that surrounded and covered her as I knelt at her side. I turned off the vibrator, eased it out of her, and replaced it with my index and middle fingers. As my digits slid in and out of her, I massaged her nub with my thumb. Haruhi's eyes bulged and her body shivered as I coaxed the final orgasm of the evening out of her depleted body.

Once the tremors had settled a bit, I bent forward, rubbed her hair, and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Minion. You did great."

She turned her head toward me and managed a nod but otherwise didn't move—her content glassy eyes said, _Thank you._

I untied her right wrist. "Meeting adjourned." With a box full of penises tucked under my arm, I walked out the door.


	24. Gifts

.

**Chapter 24: Gifts**

The next morning, it surprised me to see Ruma in the shower. After stripping naked to join me in the water stream, she dropped to her knees, hugged my legs, and kissed my dick and balls like she hadn't seen them for weeks.

"Please, Kyon," she said between smooches. "I can't take this part-time stuff. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to live with you. I'll be your sex slave. I'll do anything it takes. I won't even care if you fuck Haruhi on the side."

"What did bring up Haruhi?"

"Everyone knows you two got something freaky going on. But I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore…" She licked my sausage. "… but him."

"You know I can't devote that much time to you," I said, "but I've got something that might help tide you over between showers." I retrieved one of the silicone dicks from a nearby locker, returned to the shower, and lowered it to her lips. "A special gift just for you."

I didn't know what to expect. Part of me—most of me, actually—expected her to laugh in my face. But that didn't happen.

Ruma blinked a few times and her eyes widened. "Hey… It's him." She took the dick into her hands. "It's exactly him, except that he's made of plastic."

"Silicone, actually. Give him a taste."

She licked the mold and put it in her mouth. Her face lit up. She closed her eyes and sucked the silicone version of me like it was real.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"He's fantastic." She rubbed her vagina. "Can I put him anywhere I want?"

It encouraged me to hear her refer to the mold as _him_.

"Of course. Go to town."

She spread her knees, raised her torso, and eased the dick mold deep inside herself. With a squeal of joy and a shiver that bounced her breasts, she said, "This is great."

"I need to get to homeroom. Will you be all right?"

Teary-eyed and sighing, Ruma replied, "Uh-huh." She clenched her eyes shut, rolled onto her side, lifted her legs, and moaned as steaming water drenched her body.

I went to my locker and changed. As I buttoned my shirt, Ruma made love to the mold.

_This is going to work._

###

Since I'd finished with Ruma early, I got to homeroom before Haruhi arrived. I wondered what to expect. Could anything pierce the sober veneer of this North High schoolgirl and leader of the SOS Brigade? After last night's craziness, would some of Minion-Haruhi's personality bleed through?

If you guessed the answer "Hell no" to those questions, you'd be right. Despite leaving Haruhi a giggling, blubbering, cum-covered mess the night before, the girl strolled into the classroom as if nothing happened. And, no, she hadn't tied her hair into a ponytail.

I knew the rules, so I didn't broach the subject. Instead, I said, "Good morning."

She met my eyes and replied, "Good morning to you too," before turning her attention to the cloudy sky outside the window. "They say it's going to rain today. I was really looking forward to playing tennis."

"For P.E.?"

"Of course. I'm not going to play tennis during World History."

I shrugged. "Oh, right."

Not even a hint of change. Still, something was different. But I couldn't put my finger on it.

I bent forward and glanced at her legs. _Aha__… Full-length stockings. Busted!_

I tried my best to suppress a smile, and mostly managed it.

Haruhi tried her best to suppress a smile as well and mostly managed it too.

"I'm sorry…" I paused. "…about, you know, the weather messing up your tennis plans and all."

A genuine smile formed on her lips as she ran her fingers over her collarbone. "It's fine. A little rain never hurt anyone."

###

Mikuru's titty fucks normally occupied my lunchtime slot, but I had a feeling today's meeting would be brief. I'd have more than enough time for a quick gymnasium detour.

"I'm glad you came," Angie said when I snuck toward her under the bleachers with my hand behind my back. "I honestly didn't think you'd show up."

I brought my hand forward and presented Angie with an elegant white gift box. "For you."

"What's this?" She shook the box.

"It's a life-sized mold of my dick."

"This is a joke, right?" She frowned and opened the container. I expected more grief when she looked inside and realized I wasn't kidding, but when she beheld the copy of my penis, her eyes lit up just like Ruma's had. "Holy cow. It's beautiful."

"Is it like you remembered it?"

"Exactly." She ran her fingertip along the top. "I remember how this vein dented my lip." She looked up. "What should I do with it?"

"Anything you want. It all yours, a gift from me."

"Should I suck on it like I sucked you on the roof?"

"Sure, why not?"

She put the head of the dick in her mouth and ran her tongue around the tip. "This is incredible," she said, garbling her words. A peep followed and goosebumps covered her skin.

"Are you okay?"

She pulled the dick out of her mouth. "I'm getting really wet."

"Why don't you head to the woman's locker room and play with it in a stall?"

"You wouldn't be offended if I took off without blowing you?"

"No. Not at all."

"Oh, right. You've got Haruhi."

I shrugged.

"Thanks, Kyon. You're the best." She hugged me and ran off.

_Unbelievable. _Just like that, she'd forgotten all about my real life irresistible penis. I extracted myself from under the bleachers and jogged to the clubroom.

###

When I opened the clubroom door (after my secret knock unlocked it), a gorgeous kneeling nude redhead awaited me.

She cupped her breasts and lifted them. "Hi, Kyon."

When I moved my hands to my zipper, she closed her eyes and tensed.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yes." She looked down. "It's just that your guy has become so… formidable. It's like I'm putting my breasts around a curling iron and the hotter it gets, the more pleasure I feel."

I squinted. "You look older."

"I spent an extra day in my time plane. I needed more than one day off to recuperate from your last titty-fuck."

I reached into my bookbag and pulled out an elegant white box. "Before we get down to business, I have a gift for you."

Mikuru took the box with a wide smile. When she opened it, just like Angie and Ruma, her eyes widened. "Is this what I think it is?" She lifted the dick and balls out of the box and moved it around in her hands.

"It's a life-sized replica of my equipment."

She held the semi-rigid silicone shaft between her breasts and squealed. "This is amazing."

"Does it feel real?"

"No. Well, sort of. It feels a lot like the real thing but without the crazy intensity. It's like the curling iron is set on warm, not ultra-blazing, know what I mean?"

"I think I do."

She rolled onto her side and pulled up her legs. As I watched with wonder, she eased the fake dick into her vagina. "Oh man," she gasped. "It's a perfect fit."

"I'm going to head to the cafeteria and hang with my buds. Will you be okay?"

Mikuru's eyes rolled up into her eyelids before she closed them. As she sensually fucked herself, her head gently nodded. I left the moaning beauty on the floor with her gift.

###

I trotted down the Arts Building steps at full speed. When I reached the ground floor, Tsuruya stood near the stairwell exit door, her back against the wall, a knee raised. Her gorgeous hair cascaded over her shoulders.

"Hi, Kyon," she said. I found her warm greeting disturbing.

"Hey," I replied. "Glad to see you back at school."

"Did you just finish playing with Mikuru?"

"I suppose." She looked at the floor and was about to speak when I held up my palm. "Before you say anything, there's something I want to give you." I reached into my book bag and handed her a white box.

She turned it in her hands. "What's this?"

"A special gift. I was thinking of you when I made it."

"Honestly?"

"No lie. Text me if you want to cancel our meeting this Sunday."

She gave me a confused look before nodding. "Okay." She lifted the lid.

I continued on my way.

###

I sat down at my regular cafeteria table with my buds Taniguchi and Kunkida. Across the room, Haruhi sat alone at her usual spot. Her orange-yellow hair ribbon sexily bound her hair into a ponytail while tan stockings hugged her shapely legs.

As I chatted with my friends, I checked out Haruhi from a distance. Her ensemble looked incredibly hot. It didn't help that my brain kept picturing her in full-nude Mop mode.

She looked up and noticed me staring at her. Though our eyes only met for a moment, we communicated volumes.

_You look fantastic, Minion, and I'm thinking of you._

_I know you are, Mr. President, and I__'m available for a meeting. _She crossed her legs.

A subtle shake of my head. _I appreciate your offer, but not today._

_I understand, sir. _Her legs uncrossed and her gaze returned to her book.

I continued conversing with my friends.

###

Once again, I attended my Art Class alone. I had high hopes that my muse might join me one last time, but when I placed the polarizing lenses over my eyes, the space beneath my desk remained empty. After class let out, I took my time cleaning up my easel and brushes. Once everyone else had left the classroom, I put my lenses back on and was pleased to see Yuki Nagato standing at the door.

I waved for the invisible nude alien to join me.

She strolled in and stepped beside my chair. "You wanted to meet?"

"I wanted you to know something." I cupped her breasts. "I miss your awesome body, and your spectacular blowjobs."

"I will never deny you if you ask." She clasped her hands over her bum, arched her back, and thrust her breasts forward.

"And I'd never deny you either, but, as you know, things are changing. You're not addicted anymore." I rubbed her bare bottom. Her cheeks vibrated in my hand. "Damn, what do you have this thing set at?"

"Level five."

I shook my head. "Look, I want to work out a deal."

She tilted her head. Her expression asked, _What do you have in mind?_

"I want to trade you this…" I handed her a white box. "…for this." I tapped the buttplug hologram generator with my finger.


	25. Pacification

.

**Chapter 25: Pacification**

The following morning, I arrived at school early and headed to the showers. Since I'd given Ruma a cast of my dick the day before, I considered this more of a scouting mission than a meet-up. As I navigated to the locker rooms, glancing from side to side, a familiar noise emanated from a side hallway. I snuck down the corridor and peeked into a storage room Ruma and I had used from time to time.

My heart warmed when I found the source of the noise. Some guy had Ruma pinned up against the wall. She had one leg raised and her panties wrapped around the ankle of her planted leg. I recognized the guy fucking her as one of her old regulars.

She noticed me watching, returned a smile, and waved. Then she waved for me to get lost.

_How about that? _I hustled away from the scene.

I hated starting the morning without my usual shower. I'd gotten so into the habit, going without it felt strange. I had an inkling I wouldn't have to, though.

I rushed back to the shoe lockers near the school's entrance doors. Sitting on the wooden bench across from her locker, changing her shoes, sat Haruhi Suzumiya—with her hair tied in a ponytail.

I sat next to her.

She closed her locker, placed her hands in her lap, and gazed forward.

I ran my hand along her ponytail.

She pushed me down flat onto the bench, straddled me, and welded her mouth to mine. As I laid there and tongue-wrestled my Minion, my hands roamed her body, eventually finding their way under her skirt to her bare bottom.

When I was nearly out of breath, she broke the kiss and sat on top of me. "Good morning, Mr. President."

"From now on," I said, "Mop Club officially starts when I touch your hair."

She shrugged. "Works for me." She moved to unbutton her blouse. "Should I get into uniform?"

I knew Haruhi wasn't serious about undressing. At this early hour, the place was nearly empty, but some students still milled about.

Actually, that's wrong. Haruhi _was_ dead serious. If I told her to get into her official mop "uniform," she would have done it. She knew I wouldn't ask her to do that, though. Well, she strongly suspected I wouldn't ask. We'd officially begun another Mop Club meeting and I was in charge. Totally in charge. That also meant I was totally responsible for my Minion's well-being, safety, and reputation. Clutching the buttons of her blouse told me she trusted me.

I took her hands into mine and pulled them to the sides.

"I see you got my text. I said the meeting was optional."

She squeezed my hands. "And I chose to exercise that option. What's the plan, Prez?"

"I'll let you know," I said, "if you'll get off of me for a minute."

"Okay." She dismounted and stood at attention next to the bench.

I got up, took her hand, and we ran to the showers.

###

I left the shower room first. This gave Haruhi time to dress and towel dry her hair. After bursting into the hallway, I trotted back toward the school entrance. Ruma caught up to me halfway to the door. "Hey, Kyon."

"Oh hey, Ruma. It looked like you were having a nice time in the storage room a little while ago."

A sheepish smile formed on her face. "Yeah, I suppose." She elbowed me in the ribs. "But that was nothing compared to the heat you and Haruhi put out just now. Damn, you two are amazing."

My jaw dropped. "You were watching us?" I'd forgotten to check the closet.

"One good turn deserves another, right? Don't worry. She didn't see me."

"You were okay, you know, watching?" I feared her seeing my dick, especially in action, might make things tough for her.

"I was fine." She winked. "I had the other you inside me and followed the action play by play."

###

Shortly after, I sat in front of Haruhi in homeroom. Her wet hair lacked its trademark ribbon and dampened her sailor uniform's collar. My shorter hair had mostly dried, so I assumed people wouldn't make a connection—the connection everyone in the school had already made long ago.

"Midterms are approaching," Haruhi told me, "and I expect every member of the SOS Brigade to ace them. Am I making myself clear?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared.

I replied, "I promise I'll do well this time." Then I glanced at her wet collar with a knowing smile. I considered asking her, _Did you get caught in a morning downpour? _but decided against it. Despite the utter craziness of the situation, I was very happy with the status of our relationship.

We had an agreement. The events that took place during Mop Club remained hermetically sealed from the rest of reality, no exceptions. Two bridges connected the real world to our Mop Club world. My digital or written notes suggesting meetings, and Haruhi's panty-free, ponytail-augmented school uniform alterations signaling her availability.

She noticed my smile but didn't react, although she could read my mind: _What an amazing way to start the day._

I marveled at her genius. She'd managed to square the circle, to glean the best from two worlds while blaming the necessity for doing so all on me. She'd rigged the game.

If I would have asked her about the latest Mop Club meeting, or any of the others, she'd tell me she didn't know what I was talking about. Had I pressed her, she might have admitted to playing her role; playing it to the best of her ability, free of worry, inhibition—or clothing. The Mop Club's charter focused on making mop-worthy messes, and she took to the task with the same gusto she took to everything she did.

A question remained. Was my Minion the real Haruhi Suzumiya? Or did the real version fill the guise of one of North High's top students and the leader of the SOS Brigade?

I had a theory. Though Haruhi would never admit it, both versions were fully her. Instead of forming one girl that fell somewhere in the middle, Haruhi split herself into two extremes: the autocratic General and the subordinate Minion. Why did she do this? No doubt, because it made life much more interesting.

###

The rest of the week went well. Ruma Stretta resumed her side-business with her regulars and once again rolled in the money. She treated me as her best bud, though I never took another morning rinse in the voyeur showers.

When Angie Nigahara spotted me in the hallway, she always smiled and waved. She accepted the fact that I was taken, and easily made peace with it now that she had another outlet for her urges. From my perspective, she seemed content. Who would have thought energized silicone could keep high school girls from jumping off buildings?

Thanks to my other silicone handouts, Mikuru, Yuki, and Tsuruya reverted back to her normal selves as well—for the most part. More on that later.

As Haruhi said, when you focus on something long enough and hard enough, it's bound to appear in your life. True to her adage, the universe had given me an out in the form of five silicone molds of my penis. I theorized about that as well.

When a baby is young, it needs its mother's milk. When it gets hungry, it screams for food. It's all a little baby can think about. The kid gets desperate. But you can placate the baby with a pacifier. When her mother's breast isn't available, a fake silicone nipple in the mouth can assuage the urge.

In my case, the pacifiers, my dick molds, emitted the perfect amount of sexual energy to allay their needs. Almost like a nicotine patch, if you'll let me alter the analogy. I had no idea whether or not the magic would wear off. I guessed eventually it would. I knew the items I'd commissioned were manufactured from the very best materials and would likely last for years. Nothing but the best from the Toyohara.

Sure, there was always a chance the dicks could get lost or damaged. Someone might find out about my harem's pacifiers and ask questions. One might fall into the wrong hands. So many things to consider. At the moment, life was good, so I didn't worry about it.

After all, I had a spare cast, and I knew where to get more copies.

###

I met Haruhi for our regular official Mop Club meeting Saturday morning at the park bench. As you might remember, I tried to make a deal with Yuki, suggesting she trade her buttplug hologram generator for a silicone dick, but she talked me into a better deal. It turns out she had a ton of store credit with Zork Manufacturing. Instead of trading me her beloved vibrating buttplug for my copy, she offered to get me the collar version.

The collar version of the hologram generator offered many benefits, especially for someone with Haruhi's idiosyncrasies. Because of its close proximity to her throat, the collar hologram generator's (CHG) active noise reduction technology silenced her voice and any other sounds she might feel the urge to make and instead routed those sounds to my polarizing glasses where I, and only I, could hear her emanations in my head via bone conduction. The option also left the orifice usually filled by the BPHG free for other activities.

Haruhi absolutely loved the device and we had a ton of fun with it. Being able to come without fear of being heard easily doubled the expressiveness of my already expressive Minion. Since I couldn't figure out how to regulate the volume level while I was fucking her, my ears rang for days.

I asked Haruhi if she wanted to hang on to the CHG after the meeting, but she made it clear the device belonged in my care. Keeping hold of it would inject a little too much of our Mop Club world into Haruhi's conventional universe.

Believe it or not, I continued my weekly meetings with Tsuruya. She'd gotten addicted to my torturing her equally as much as getting my dick rammed up her ass. Our sessions, she told me, wonderfully augmented her intense Karate regimen. So we decided to keep the torture and cut out the buttfucking, although now and then her dick mold made a backdoor appearance.

Our meetings proved mutually therapeutic. I really enjoyed restraining and beating the tar out of the girl, and she loved getting restrained and beat. As an added bonus, I maintained my VIP access to the Toyohara Love Hotel, and our meetings kept me sharp for my monthly dungeon sessions with Haruhi.

I failed to notice that, as harem members, Tsuruya and Mikuru didn't hang out together much, if at all. They now resumed their close friendship. I don't know if they shared stories of their past flings with me, but I'm pretty sure they compared notes on how much enjoyment their pacifiers gave them. I forced my imagination to stop there.

When the three of us run into each other in the hallways, Mikuru radiates her friendly charm and Tsuruya greets me with the honor reserved for her Karate sensei; with deep bows and reverence. Thank the heavens, because this was one girl I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alleyway.

As part of our deal, Yuki talked me into allowing her raw access to my dick from time to time, even though it fries her circuits. "I need to observe," she told me. Monitoring the intensity of the erotic energy Haruhi pumps into my penis was an important part of her job.

Yeah, right.

If you think I minded waking up to a naked alien cutie sucking on my dick, you'd be wrong. Her random visits added the joy of anticipation to my mornings. Far be it from me to interfere with her job. Oh, the sacrifices we make for our friends.

###

Our Mop Club sessions, both the regularly scheduled Saturday ones and the ad hoc meetings we fit in throughout the week, were the highlights of my life and I sensed the feeling was mutual, although acknowledging that fact carried the death penalty.

I almost slipped. I'd rented the Toyohara Love Hotel's Honeymoon Suite to celebrate the three-month anniversary of our inaugural meeting. As Haruhi and I lay beneath the silk sheets, in each other's arms after a satisfying round of messy sex, I pulled her close and met her eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you, Minion. I got to get this off my chest."

She brushed some hair off my forehead, and asked, "What is that, Mr. President?"

"I want you to know that... I lo—"

Her eyes bulged, her body stiffened, and her brow furled.

"... that I, um, I'm lucky to have a Minion who fulfills her duties as competently as you."

Her body relaxed and her visage softened. "Thank you for your kind words of praise, Mr. President. I too feel honored to serve under a leader as capable as you." She kissed me on the lips, then left a line of kisses down my chest and belly as she moved south. I gasped when she took my dick into her mouth and watched with wonder as the gorgeous, unclothed, pony-tailed Mop Club mascot lovingly sucked me off.

_This is how it all started._ An image flashed on my mental screen; me sitting comfortably on the commander's chair, Haruhi down on her knees, my dick resting happily in her mouth. The day I became irresistible. It seemed so far away. I squinted as my pleasure centers spiked.

I had no idea how long the Mop Club would last. I figured it would likely continue until our graduation from North High. What was in store for us beyond that? Would the Mop Club and the SOS Brigade continue in another form in college? Or would the two extreme halves of Haruhi Suzumiya blend into one as our relationship morphed into something normal?

I didn't have a clue. All I knew, as I over-filled Haruhi's mouth with semen and made a mess all over the bed, was that I felt blessed to be where I was right now. Blessed by this smiling, giggling, chipmunk-cheeked goddess.

**The End**


End file.
